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something that needs addressing

Let's be clear. I have never been a fetish transvestite. The reason I think this is because the innocent crossdressing of my early youth was so completely devoid of any sexual overtones. It was only as I got older and it came unannounced that I became horrified and disgusted. There begins the cycle of embracing and purging that so many of us are familiar with. Other people just like me have transitioned or at least lived full time: Virginia Prince. Anne Lawrence, Susannah Valenti and others who may not have fit the mold of the classic TS model.

Maybe I should just be satisfied with this scenario and deal with it as I must since I think given my age and my life situation, it would be best to leave my body alone.

What is left now is to get just the right amount of professional help to aid me in my own thought process towards a measure of mental peace around this issue. To be happy somewhere between the closeted crossdresser and the transexual.

I am indebted to the treatment I underwent 5 years ago in helping to achieve self acceptance. Now I need to put a stopper on the desire to do something unnecessary and potentially wreckless. Whether it's paraphilia or not it no longer matters. It still needs to be treated somehow in the absence of an outright cure.

I would like to one day understand where this early fascination came from for me. Not because it will change anything but because it will be welcome information and perhaps vindication for someone who felt so bad for so long about doing something so unimportant.

Comments

  1. "Whether it's paraphilia or not it no longer matters. It still needs to be treated somehow in the absence of an outright cure."

    YUPP


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  2. Do you know how many sexual "fetishes" there are in the world?

    Do you know how many people DON'T feel guilt or shame about theirs?

    Fetishes are a normal part of the variances of human nature, most people see them for what they are, embrace them (within reason IE stopping before they make other people who aren't of the same inclination uncomfortable) and live long happy lives largely unaffected by them.

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  3. The problem I have is that a fetish is stigmatizing and blames you for creating your situation. It makes one feel bad (at least it did me) when I did not create my disphoria. If I had consciously and out of the blue started dressing for kicks at 12 I'd accept the paraphilia explanation. Plus I do not dress to masturbate and never have. Anyway thanks for trying to help

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  4. Did I miss something?

    "One of the vestiges from my AG past that has remained with me is masturbation before removing the clothing."

    "I do not dress to masturbate and never have."

    Or am I just witnessing the machinations of denial?

    I do not mean to be unduly harsh here, but as I said before, your situation far exceeds the limits of my "dime store psychology", imposed by the constraints of a blog commentary.

    My suggstion to you is to look into the concept known as 'sexual target error'. This happens alot in pre-puberty childhood.

    Based on our conversations, I would have to agree with Van Buren. You most likely are not TS. Remember, transsexualism is extremely rare. It is more likely that you suffer from the much more common affliction known as GID, (Gender Identity Disorder). Because it is much more common and better understood, it is more likely that you will find a therapist fmiliar with it and that can provide you with a commonly accepted two year protocol to "fix" it.

    Again, Best of luck.

    AQV

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  5. Yes I know I have GID I have been saying that all along!! I AM NOT A TS!! however at the same time I am NOT A fetish TV. anyway best of luck to both of you as well. I encourage you to keep in touch. I do appreciate the discourse... .

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