the road to congruence....

It's important to be realistic about things. My GID is here to stay and how I manage the rest of my life without letting it define me entirely is going to be the key. As I have mentioned, going back to a state of shame and denial won't work any further but putting some control on my crossdressing is probably going to be beneficial as the behavior can be addictive. Dressing exclusively for it's own sake is not the answer. I need to find a middle ground where I am allowing the outlet to happen without obsessing and having it be a mandatory part of my day as it has mostly been of late.

To add fuel to the fire I get pangs of wanting to get my girlfriend back but that is likely rose coloured thinking that could lead to more incongruity in my life. She has a power over me borne out of a strong attraction but the mixture can sometimes be more Molotov cocktail than the perfect martini. My life could go back to being tumultuous once again.

No matter which way one looks at it, having GID is a recipe for struggle and deep compromise. You can never find the formula that works perfectly for the sufferer because it goes so much against the grain of nature. Even the full blown transitioner has severe struggles, most especially if this occurs later in life.

I will test the waters with the anger issue because my childhood did involve exposure to a degree of dysfunction on that front. I had loving parents who did their best but there were signs of verbal abuse that I learnt to mimic and while it was not severe I feel it must be addressed if I am to continue my road towards a more congruent and internally peaceful me.

Comments

  1. Joanna -

    The following text from your posting hits home....

    --I will test the waters with the anger issue because my childhood did involve exposure to a degree of dysfunction on that front. I had loving parents who did their best but there were signs of verbal abuse that I learnt to mimic and while it was not severe I feel it must be addressed if I am to continue my road towards a more congruent and internally peaceful me. --

    If you have anger issues, the damage done during your youth will likely be a lot worse than you think. So don't be surprized that you'll be dredging up a lot of issues from the past. And it will be good for you that you do. But it will be a lot of hard work, as bringing up a lot of these issues will be painful - especially when they are strongly repressed (as they were in my case).

    So good luck - and let us know how it goes....

    Marian

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you Marian!!! I intend to keep you informed. All the best to you and all my readers this holiday season btw!!

    ReplyDelete

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