I am no longer willing to sacrifice joanna to fit into someone else's idea of what my gender presentation should be; even if the expectation of a traditional gender role is entirely normal for a biological woman. So if something must be sacrificed in order to maintain my personal balance, it will need to be the relationship. After all it is easier for me to control my own destiny as a solo act.
I'm not a crossdresser. It goes deeper than that for me but just not deep enough to tamper with my body. Firstly, there would be no point at this stage in my life and secondly, my GID is more or less manageable. Aside from the relationship compromise it's not making me unhappy so that's my litmus test for the status quo. I suppose it's all relative compared to where I came from which was a place of guilt and shame.
As I was writing this post having my coffee, one of the girls I buy cosmetics from came up to me and said joyfully: "hi princess!!". I was overjoyed to hear it. She sat down for a few minutes and chatted about the things women chat about. It was really lovely and nourished the female part of my soul.