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woman anyways....

I am at a point where, if there is to be no transition, what is left is to come to terms with my female nature. In my head I feel like a woman and if tomorrow you asked me to adapt to living as a female, I would do so in a heartbeat. Not many males on this planet would want that I reckon. In fact the vast majority would be devastated were it to happen to them.

The way I feel in my head is what counts for me at this point and the change of plumbing is not a prerequisite. So, as I have stated in a previous post, I guess I will remain a gender variant outlaw. I am already living as Joanna successfully so why rock the boat.

The other thing I have decided is to live completely honestly when it comes to the potential for one day meeting a soulmate. Should that ever happen, that person would need to accept the entire me. I would not throw Joanna away to try and fit someone's image of what a male should be. I am after all hardly conventional in that sense.

Last night I saw the film "Laurence anyways" which tells the bittersweet story of a transexual struggling to be true to who they are while trying to hold on to their soulmate. I won't reveal the ending but I recommend the film to any trans person most especially. The nature of the struggle is nicely portrayed. The film is in French but is subtitled. Well worth the effort in my opinion. Just as in real life, nothing is a given and we feel for all parties concerned; and as expected, life offers no easy answers.

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