After so many years of denying myself the right to dress I have now lived a situation where no one is here to hold me back. I had been behaving, however, as if that opportunity would soon disappear so I had better make the best of it while the going is good. Which is why I consider tonight a victory for my mental balance and sense of well being. I know who I am (dress or no dress) and I can be me regardless of my attire. I am not going to stop dressing female but I will be more judicious in when I do it. All the while devoid of guilt or shame.
That sense of security in that I can dress tomorrow or the day after is comforting. Who knows, there may be hope for me yet.