an interesting Sunday...

I ended up meeting two people for coffee yesterday.

The first was Sabrina who I met when I frequented a Starbucks in the old part of the city. I would go to Sunday Mass and I would go over and get my coffee immediately afterwards. She was the barista and we ended up having some nice chats; one of them extremely informative as she shared her bout with teenage anxiety. When I learnt she was leaving that location we exchanged cell numbers.

Yesterday we met and had a very nice talk. She is a very mature girl who, besides dealing with anxiety, has suffered from some parental issues and has come out of it stronger and I would almost say the better for it. Sometimes in life we need adversity to allow us to grow and she has had her share by her tender age of 25.

I almost feel like a mother to her and she has told me as such. In fact she texted me after meet up: “I hope I can turn into a strong woman and devoted mother like you one day” which touched my heart enormously and validated my identity as a woman. Her relationship to her mother is somewhat strained so I will gladly help guide her if she will have me as a sort of mentor. I am twice her age and have been through challenges she has yet to face. I look forward to our next meeting.

Leticia called mean and wanted to meet up for a bite. She works at Sears and we also met up during one of my Joanna dress shopping forays. So after leaving Sabrina I made my way slowly to the north end mall where she works.

Leticia and I get along well. We are both of Hispanic origin and the conversation flows well. We talk about lives and our role as mothers of teens.
So my life as Joanna continues to develop in this fashion; going into a place where I had not imagined I could go before. It’s giving me a taste of real life experience to see if full time living would ever be possible or even desirable. It’s also fully reversible in the sense that I am not committing to any physical changes which I could regret at a later time.

But I am becoming more entrenched in the idea of a gender variant approach to my life. I am also feeling quite empowered these days; which is good. Perhaps it is the onset of spring.





Comments

  1. I find it interesting that you are projecting/presenting gender normative, yet you see yourself as gender variant.

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  2. true enough an obeservation AQV. I guess I am only gender variant in the sense that I live almost two separate lives which I am not overlapping in any way. It was my ex therapist who called me gender variant and I guess that stuck with me..

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