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disclosure

I was not able to stay away very long.

I think I need this blog and it’s become my main source of therapy. I have also been greatly bolstered by the feedback I get from all of you.

Yesterday, I was at my youngest sister’s house and we were able to converse a little after not having seen each other for several weeks. She has been my biggest confidante among my siblings over the last five years as I have battled with my gender issues. She also helped get me through my divorce by always lending a friendly ear and being a sounding board when I needed to vent.

She knows I am a borderline transsexual and so does my brother in law.

It has been good to be so OUT within my family and friends and I cannot think of a single person who has outright rejected me over the news that I am transgendered. In fact most people have told me that they see me as the same person irrespective of the news. In fairness however, most have never seen me dressed so the information they possess about me remains very much in the realm of the theoretical; they can be spared the jarring visual effect that seeing me in a dress would potentially give them.

That is all fine with me as only the act of disclosure has made all the difference in the world.

2 weeks ago I was sitting in room facing a hospital psychiatrist and 2 assistants as they interviewed the entire family over my son’s anxiety. The process involved him first being interviewed alone with the rest of us being invited in at a later stage.

About half way through, the fact that my son knows about me was brought up by my ex-wife. She very much resents that my children know and she used this opportunity to let her opinion be known. I politely disagreed and stated that it’s best that they be informed about their father. The head psychiatrist agreed with my assertion although he contributed by saying that perhaps there could still be some stigma for my son and this could have played a contributing role in his anxiety.

It’s possible that he is right because at this juncture of his young life, where his own burgeoning sexuality is being fleshed out and explored, the news that his father is gender conflicted can’t be the most welcome of announcements.

A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing yes but I also grew up with a high degree of uncertainty and pressure and was able to deal with it on my own without any disclosure. I don’t believe that this knowledge will ultimately be detrimental to his normal development as a male.

Needless to say I am very glad that neither of my children shows any signs of gender conflict.

Comments

  1. Joanna,

    I find reading blogs such as yours and then taking the liberty of commenting to be a good way for me to deal with my gender duality.

    I wish you luck with your son. All of us go through different pressures as we grow up and being able to feel support and love is important. It is too bad that your ex wife still needs to focus a measure of bile at you and she is using your gender issues as a weapon.

    Pat

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  2. Thanks for the good wishes vis a vis my son Pat. My ex does understand very well my condition since she spoke to the gender clinic doctor without consultingme and he told her that disphoria is serious business but she can't get past the idea that my children should know nothing about it....

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