no it's not quite the end....

My need for this journal is waning a little bit.

No I don't have all of the answers but with the reduction in angst is coming a proportionate disinterest in posting as frequently. This does not necessarily spell the end for this blog but I have no interest in chronicling every banality that I encounter in my daily experience either. In other words, don't look for me to describe in great detail the colour and shape of my latest Joanna purchase because it just won't happen.

I am coming to terms with the fact that, with the demise of my guilt, I am now left purely with the more pragmatic managenent issue of doling out my dressing in measured but frequent proportions.

Having acknowledged to myself that this is something I need to prevent me from slipping into a pink depressive fog, I need not beat myself up any longer over it.

Like Popeye very succinctly said: "I am what I am".

The overlap with all of you being so buoyant to my spirit, will almost guarantee that I will continue to share my ideas with you.

Comments

  1. Hi Joanna,

    Here's something someone just posted on crossdreamlife that may be appropriate.

    Lindsay

    Re: Shame and autogynephilia
    Postby blackbubblegum » Tue Jul 23, 2013 2:53 pm

    snazzy wrote:
    While I'd like to be a woman, I've been socialized as a man my whole life and can't honestly claim to know what being a woman entails. So my desires are really about what I imagine womanhood might be like.


    Dude, totally get it. I used to have an issue with this too, and possibly still do though I think my personal shame lies elsewhere. What I found really liberating was reading Judith Butler, Kate Bornstein, etc. and coming to realize that femininity isn't the exclusive province of females, and that the femininity displayed by, I don't know, drag queens is just as legitimate as the femininity displayed by a cis woman shopping with a friend. So much of gender, I'd say most of it, is just that -- a display. A set of very small, disconnected behaviors that give the illusion of a whole identity. Sure, you'll never know what it's like to have a cis female body, but you can certainly own your femininity in the same you can own your taste in music, your sense of fashion, etc. Not to trivialize gender issues or imply that people don't have an innate sense of bodily sex, but I'm just talking femininity in terms of behavior and the feelings that come with that behavior.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Joanna,

    I also liked this blog entry by Julia Serano:

    http://juliaserano.blogspot.com/2013/07/gender-is-different.html

    Lindsay

    ReplyDelete
  3. I very very much like this kind of approach Lindsay where you give yourself permission to be your own creation. So what if you're not normal but at least you are YOU and that's saying something. Thank you for posting this....

    ReplyDelete
  4. Joanna -

    Writing a blog does not have to be about one's angst. In my case, it forces me to express myself on a daily basis. So I write about things that come to mind at the time I'm ready to write. For example, I write about my dating successes and failures - and usually try to find something that relates to being transgendered and how it affects my dating. I will write about the headaches of getting dressed en-femme once I get home. But mostly, it's been an accumulation of random thoughts being organized around a theme.

    Having a place where you can let out steam is important. And trying to write in a way to get new readers forces one to be introspective, and yet try to contribute to others. In my case, it is my thinking about a subject and how what I've learned (or am learning) can be helpful to others.

    So don't rush to say goodbye to the blog - you have friends here that care about you....

    M

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fear not Marian I'm not going anywhere....your friend Joanna!

      Delete
  5. Hi Joanna.

    What you have described is basically what I do, but I kind of revel in it. Currently I am on day 12 of dressing and am getting a bit bugged by it all. It is nice to feel tired of cross dressing for at least a little bit.

    Trying to be okay with who I am, and to do it guilt free has been such an immense help to my sanity that I actually feel somewhat normal.

    Good luck! and Enjoy!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for sharing Nadine! I'm getting to a good place with everything....

      Delete
  6. Being able to write about our gender issues is a form of self therapy that is quite helpful. It is important that we find some support and affirmation that we are OK.
    Pat

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And Lord knows I need plenty of therapy Pat!

      Delete

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