It's the homework that I should have done many years ago but refused to undertake perhaps for fear of finding something sinister hiding underneath. It's the treatment of a scab that was left dangling and uncured until I came back to tend it to it properly.
If I had not spent the last year in a figurative purgatory trying to understand myself, I would be a lot worse off right now.
The timing was as good as any.
What remains now is to dose out a guilt free application of cross dressing to prevent my gender disphoria from reducing my quality of life. The more I have given validity to this important tool, the more I have begun to feel better about the idea of never transitioning.
My refusal to accept that my disphoria was real and that my instincts were leading me in the right direction all along was causing my suffering. The elimination of the guilt that was behind it all, was what the doctor ordered.
I believe I can do this now.