When I was younger and as recently as a few months ago, one or both of these monsters would conspire to rob me of my ability to feed my disphoria in a positive way.
It was like trying to drink orange juice from a partially plugged straw thus never benefiting from the experience in a full and satisfying way. This has now dramatically changed and I can not only relax fully without worrying about what others might think but also bask in the calmness of a guilt free experience.
I know this took me many years to achieve and yet it seems so obvious in retrospect. The simple act of doing what comes natural to you has a power like no other and for the first time ever I am able to draw life from this source.
I have overcome my two worst enemies and I could not be happier for it.