finding your joy

I needed to find the joy in my gender variance but it wasn't always there.

Instead, it was rather serious business.

This was something every fibre of my being compelled me to do but because it was taboo I was not to find any joy in it.

Sure it felt wonderful and relaxing but I thought it more a vice than part of my nature. This is why I have been concentrating on finding the joy in my expression of Joanna and, as she blossoms, I see more and more the payoff when I interact with others. I have truly begun to see this as a gift from God instead of a plague or a scourge.

Once you are out of your shell of culpability, people begin to see you differently and you in turn feed off their positive energy.

It's an amazing thing to watch.

I don't care for gender politics and I am not looking for special priviliges either. I don't particularly care if people call me a "man in a dress"; and what of it? That is essentially what I am. The only adjective I would add in front of the word man would be disphoric.

Gender variant people spend incredible amounts of energy arguing amongst themselves but I'm trying to whittle it down to one simple formula:

Got gender disphoria? Find a solution that works for you and try to find some joy in it.

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