language is important

Henceforth this blog will adhere to dealing exclusively with gender disphoria and how its sufferers deal with said condition.

This disphoria need have caused some degree of distress or impairment at some point in an individual's life and so I necessarily exclude drag queens, people who dress for kicks, or actors playing a role from this description.

I no longer want transgender versus transsexual battles here on this blog.

I am only interested in the concept of gender disphoria and how people deal with theirs. During my sessions with Helene, it was explained to me that in the hospital gender program they no longer use the term transsexual but only talk about gender disphoria and how to treat it.

The reason? Not everyone will ultimately deal with their gender disphoria in the same manner.

In Helene's group there are those well on their way to fully transitioning but there are also people like me who do not identify as full blown transsexual but are nonetheless strongly disphoric. I currently label myself as a type IV on the Benjamin scale and, while that typically means I am perennially stuck in the middle somewhere, I am still a candidate for some sort of treatment along with the transitioning group.

Helene has told me that some take hormones and no bottom surgery. Some live full time with no surgery while others like me are living part time as a way of coping. Her aim is simple: help you find your answer.

She does not want to push the idea of transition on anyone.

Not surprisingly she has told me that the younger group she has is the most uninhibited and the least affected by social convention. This makes complete sense as they have been less affected by societal convention than when I was growing up.

Still I would change nothing about my life since I am a creature of my time and my own circumstances. I also know for certain that I will never transition.


  1. Joanna -

    As they say "never say never".... If Sean Connery came back to make a Bond film (a version of "Thunderball" from a different treatment of the story, Never say 'never' again), the future may be much more unpredictable than you know.

    With that being said, I think you'll find your unique answer to how you deal with Gender Dysphoria, as I will with mine. But please keep your readers aware of your personal life - that gives us greater insight into who you are, and a better ability to make meaningful conversation with you....


  2. Maybe I was not clear in my language Marian. What I meant to say is that I wanted to change my use of language so as not to start forest fires here. The tone and content of the blog will continue to be a mix of my observations, some science and some personal life stories...fear not!

  3. Sound's like Jo's way or the highway. No dissent, disagreement allowed. How fascist, totalitarian is that? Hey "Jo", are you feeling just a little bit threatened?

    "I no longer want transgender versus transsexual battles here on this blog. "

    Wow! Just like that. The difference has been erased. How easy was that?

  4. Good idea Joanna. I've thought for a long time the GD was the key. I'm glad to finally hear that at least some professional's (hopefully most) think the same. The severity and how well you can cope seem to be good indicators for treatment paths. And nobody's path will be the same.


  5. Would that it worked that way. It does not. I was diagnosed with GD back in the day. Then it was called GID, (gender identity disorder). It was also called Gender dysphoria.

    There simply was no established protocol for treatment. It was strictly ad hoc subject to the thinking of the so called "professional experts". That "thinking" was subject to the particular flavor of the month 'gender theory'. Little has changed.

    The current debate being played out in the media is based on "transgender rights". Those rights are similar if not the same as what you and Jo want. You want the "right" to self-express with impunity or fear of reprisal. Problem is, it does not work that way. There are rules which are in place for the good/survival of civil society and consequences for breaking those rules.

    I cannot "self-express" by running around naked or driving drunk. Bradley Manning cannot betray his country and then be rewarded by getting "speshul" treatment, (in the form of a free, tax-payer provided sex change).

    Jo is able to 'self-express' as female because, as a self identified gender dysphoric man, he enjoys "passing-privilege".

  6. For the life of me AQV I don't understand why you are constantly feeling threatened. Yes I have gender disphoria and I am dealing with it the best way I know how. I don't see why that should bother you since I am not asking for any priviliges from you. What I do on my own time to deal with a condition I did not ask for need not be a problem. And yes not everyone who has gender issues transitions; you read Harry benjamin's book as I did.

  7. Its not about dissent since I don't pretend to have all the answers, what I do now is that my disphoria is real and I want to focus on that rather than having arguments about who is or isn't a woman. I never said I was one but that does not make my gender issues any less real.

  8. Who said it was? You keep bringing that up. Why? "Feeling threatened?" And why do you constantly project your insecurities onto others? I know who I am. I know how "real" your issues appear to you. However, it is more than obvious that you are still struggling with your issues.

    Whenever I question your "logic" or your "science" you puff up about how "'you know all about that", then when your faulty "reasoning" becomes obvious even to you, you strike out at others, then change the subject. You sound like Obama.

  9. Lets get a couple of things clear AQV if we are going to talk about faulty logic look no further than your own arguments for depending your point of view. I am constantly left scratching my head. Avoidance of my direct questions to you is another tactic you favour I have noticed.

    Questioning gender disphoria is not insecurity it is curiosity.

    You know who you are? Well bully for you as I don't know that. Your reasoning for your GRS is known only to you since you do not write a blog but simply come here and rain all over things that you do not agree with mostly based on your own point of view I might add.

    Your aggressiveness points clearly to some insecurities you harbour. That for me is very clear since someone who is secure has no reason to feel threatened.

    I have repeated myself over and over in this blog....THERE IS NO REAL SCIENCE...supporting the issue of gender disphoria and it's origins.

  10. "THERE IS NO REAL SCIENCE...supporting the issue of gender disphoria and it's origins". ~Jo

    Really? Hmmm.....Perhaps you might want to investigate EDC's.

    Direct questions??? From you??? Gee, I must have missed those. Lots of angry, defensive rhetoric though.. I do understand your frustration. You are a man. You think like a man and like most men, you have no concept of a female .POV.

    I do hope that you are able too recognize that you are the one displaying aggression. It s you who are trying to limit an define the scope of the discussion and even the language and terminology which is at the root of the problem. What you are displaying is your typically male, angry reaction to a woman who disagrees with, or questions you.

    The truth is you have no valid response and so in your frustration you have no recourse other than angry attacks on your questioner. Sorry about the free psychoanalysis, but your constant efforts to portray me as
    'threatened", shows just the opposite

    1. You are the one who comes back with the same rhetoric over and over....yes lets make sure we separate those men in dresses from me a real woman. That's getting very very old and predictable.

      Of course I am a man. When did I state otherwise? But I have gender confusion which is what this blog is all about.

      I have zero interest in your repetitive "lets see who is a real woman" schtick. I am only focusing on what makes people like myself, lindsay, pat, marian do what we do when we did not ask for it.

      By now you should get the picture no?

    2. Rhetoric??? A statement of facts in support of a thesis is not rhetoric. It is nothing more than a statement of fact in support of a simple point or assertion.

      Gender confusion??? Are you confused? Dysphoric? I thought you had it all figured out. You are a man who (in your own words, for reasons unknown) dresses as a woman to help control your urge/need to dress as a woman. Makes sense to me. Yes....perfect sense. Hmm.....

      And...if you "have zero interest in your repetitive "lets see who is a real woman" schtick."....Then WHY do you keep bringing it up????

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  12. Google it. While you are at it, Google Paul Witherspoon, Colleen Francis and Autumn Sandeen.

  13. EDC gets me a bunch of stuff on suicide.

  14. I guess you will only see what you choose to see. Not surprising.

  15. I suspect that your browser has stored "cookies" that make your google results show what you want. Since you've already done searches on this stuff it is going to show you what you want to see. Since it's my first time searching it didn't know and showed me what the non gender dysphoric would expect. Maybe you should clear your cache occasionally. Going back about 30 hits, I still don't see anything. What does EDC stand for?

    Except for Paul Witherspoon who should be in jail, I have no problem with the other two. Coleen could use a talking to on being discrete in the presence of minors, it's probably due to her upbringing and not her being TS.

  16. You know, Lindsay. You never cease to amaze me in how you are able to selectively avoid the truth. The reference that I provided was "EDC's", NOT EDC.

    The devil is in fact in the details. For you "speshul" , Googling challenged, "EDC's" is the acronym for endocrine disrupting chemicals.

    And PUL---EEESE! "Colleen" Francis is anything but TS! Try perverted flasher hiding under your TG umbrella.

  17. Typical response from you and I am getting close to banning you from this site. You are now trying my patience so watch your tone...

  18. oh yassa, massa...I be mo betta now. ROFLMAO What "tone"? What is "typical"? Both you and Lindsay are being intentionally obtuse. No wonder you guys were never able "to be all that you can be".

    Rather than do the work, make the effort, you sit back and fecklessly avoid the hard questions preferring to hide behind your TG umbrella of victimhood joining arms and defending perverts like Witherspoon, Francis and Sandeen.

    I find it hard to believe that you, Lindsay, would feel comfortable allowing your daughter to shower with the likes of "Colleen" Francis and Sandeen. Your words..."Except for Paul Witherspoon who should be in jail, I have no problem with the other two..."

  19. Wow you are really obtuse. You think this is about showering????? You either have not being paying attention to this blog or alternatively you only focus on what you want to see and ignore the rest of the conversation.

    I do NOT care about the TG umbrella, fake transsexuals versus real ones, men in dresses, crackpot theories like AGP, etc....

    I am ONLY interested in gender disphoria and what causes it.

  20. I do not know the people you make reference to and they were never brought up in this blog. Once again I am left scratching my head...

  21. Yet you refuse to make the effort to Google these guys. Although, despite your claim to ignorance, I suspect that you have Googled them and find them as offensive as I do.

    I just find it amusing how you try to control the narrative by controlling the language. Gender dysphoria is just a fancy name for being unhappy with your gender role. These guys that I have mentioned are used as examples of how perverts use the terminology of trans* or gender dysphoria as an excuse for their bad behavior. That is all. There is no personal attack on you or people like you. Your taking personal offense where none is intended is but
    a distraction and a red herring.

    But then I guess it must be easier to start a fight with me than it is to look at the real issues.


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