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We've come a long way...

I am a biological male and intend to stay that way for the rest of my life. That has always been my aim and this blog was started only to examine why, since a very young age, I have been drawn to the idea of being female and expressing myself as such.

In the process I have sought and received feedback from other disphorics in order to encourage an open dialogue. It has been a wonderful learning experience.

If transition was ever weighed it was in the spirit of trying to understand if that might not be the best solution for a person like me. I now know that it is not.

Whether my own disphoria is caused by exposure to EDC’s prenatally and/or sociological factors is now irrelevant.

What remains now is the intellectual curiosity of what are the likely causes of gender disphoria in general and how it should best be treated.

A few posts ago, I featured an excerpt from an article that discussed the accommodation approach versus the reparative. The former approach would involve respecting the inclinations of the child towards their preferred gender while the latter would attempt to have them adjust to their birth gender.

One consensus of the article was that there is no one size fits all approach and each case should be treated individually; another is that most experts (including the reparative Dr. Zucker) agree that once gender disphoria carries over into adulthood it is there to stay.

I am in that latter situation but I have found a way to cope. Would the technique I am using now have worked back when I was in my teens? Well it did but I scarcely permitted myself to employ it because I thought I had to eradicate all traces of my inclination towards gender variance.

Might I have benefited from the reparative approach when I was a child? Possibly yes.

We don’t live in Samoa or Thailand but I do think that more tolerance of gender variance in our society is part of the answer for people like me. The progress we have made in my own lifetime astounds me and I can scarcely imagine what another 25 years will bring.

We need to remember that it’s not like this is disease that is contagious. People who exhibit gender variance represent a tiny sliver of the population and an even smaller percentage than that of homosexuals in society.

But I am not seeking special rights since crossdressing is not against the law where I live. In fact I am just happy being able to publicly express myself in the way I do whether people know I am a male or not. It no longer matters to me because the fear of discovery is no longer there.

I see the change most in the young generation. They impress me and the treatment I have received at their hands at makeup counters and coffee shops and dress shops when I wasn’t quite passing as well as I do now has been nothing short of astounding.

We have indeed come a long way.

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Be well all of you....

sample pages...
















love of self

If you feel you are doing something wrong it shows. Your demeanor, body language and facial expression all conspire to betray you.

You are a clandestine "man in a dress"; you know it and everyone else can too. Your cover has been blown. I've been there and it's frustrating. The source goes back to your self image and the notion that you are somehow a freak of nature; and perhaps you are but what of it? the only way out is to embrace yourself fully and unconditionally. I don't mean to suggest that you are perfect but just that you were created this way and you need not seek forgiveness for it. You are a creation of God.

Misinterpreted religion is a big culprit in all this. These negative images of yourself came from reinforcement of stereotypes by ignorant people interpreting what is right and moral by their own barometer. You simply ingested the message and bought it as the gospel truth. Self confidence and critical thinking is the way out of your dilemma. It can…