Skip to main content

embracing my status quo

I am in a good place. I have been able to put my gender feelings in check and understand them or at least manage them in such a way that they do not dampen my daily existence. I want them to instead live harmoniously within it. It is a cumbersome thing to have unresolved issues running like a low humming motor in the background of your life. After a while you don’t notice them but they have significant impact nonetheless.

Ignoring and repressing never worked for me. I know there are others who have found that their dysphoria is sufficiently mild enough that they don’t need to dress as often or at all and manage their feelings in other ways. My embracing of my feminine expression has been working and I see no reason to tamper with it at this point.

Finding blogs like retransition.org and Thirdwaytrans.com has been encouraging because they represent the other side of the transition debate. They are detransitioned transwomen who in middle age decided that their transformations had not been the right thing for them after all. They serve like cautionary role models for those who might think that transition is a fix all.

So even as I have abandoned my negative thinking about gender dysphoria being rooted in mental illness, I still think that there is validity in not going too much the other way. Your psyche may tell you to try something because it’s new and because it allows for a kind of reinvention that may be rooted in dissatisfaction with other areas of your life.

Sometimes I think that if I had not found the confidence and resolve to be a part time woman I might be well on my way towards transition which would have been a grave mistake for me. When it comes to this issue I think the best approach is to do less rather than more. Trust your feelings only after chewing things over countless times and, if you cannot come to a resolution after all of that, then consider not changing the status quo.


Comments

  1. Everyone's life if full of choices. We make them all day, every day. Some choices have more impact than others. Sadly, I choose to eat too much food and do not do adequate exercise. I understand that these are choices and I would like to be thinner and healthier but I know that to get there I need to make different choices.
    Gender modification treatment, whether with hormones or surgery or simply transitioning to live as a different gender is like Caesar crossing the Rubicon. Some choices we make have more impact than others.
    Pat

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

One transgender woman's take on AGP

This entry from the transhealth website dates back to 2001 and it offers a very nice dissection of the now mostly debunked but still controversial AGP theory and how this transgender woman could care two cents about it. People who have been trying to marginalize the experience of gynephilic transwomen have pushed for the stigmatizing idea that they are actually perverted men. Well this soul, who couldn't give a hoot either way, isn't buying any of it and her frankness at times had me chuckling to myself as I read her posting. If we ever met I would give her a hug for seeing through the BS but mostly for being herself: "About a year ago I was reading on Dr. Anne Lawrence’s site about a new theory of the origin of trans called “autogynephilia.” This theory asserts that many trans women—and transsexual women in particular—desire reassignment surgery because they are eroticizing the feminization of their bodies. The first thing that struck me about it, of course, was t

my last post

This will be my last blog post. When I wrote recently that this blog had another seven years of life in it I was trying to convince myself that it was true. It was in fact a little bit of self delusion. With almost 3,000 posts to date I have accomplished what I set out to do which was to heal myself and in the process share some of the struggle I had been through with others on the chance they might find some value in my words. After seven years of writing, my life still isn't perfect; no one's is. But I have discovered a path forward completely free of the trappings which society would have had me adopt so I could fit in. Over the last 25 years of my life I have turned over every stone I could find while exploring this topic and in the process realized that we haven't even begun to scratch the surface of this deeply complex subject. What I have ultimately learned is that my instincts have more value than what someone who isn't gender dysphoric writes about me. We

Never Say Never....

 I was certain that I would never post here again and yet, here I am. It’s been several years, and life has changed me yet again. I have burrowed further into my psyche to discover more internal truths about myself all in the silence of a life lived with more periods of reflective solitude than ever before. After attempting for many years to be a problem solver for others, I needed to dig deeply to discover who I was, which should be a necessity for all people and an absolute imperative for those of us who dare rub against the grain of conventional society. The most important thing we can do for ourselves is honor the internal voice which has driven us since childhood. That whisper which we were compelled to ignore through our initial indoctrination must be listened to again for guidance. I knew I had spent too long heeding messaging that wasn’t working for me as a trans person, and it was time to stop. For the world gleefully basks in a level ignorance and hypocrisy we are not abl