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authenticity

In a recent post in his blog Thirdwaytrans states:

“Basically everyone agrees that many people who transition MtF have erotic fantasies of being feminized or becoming female. Where there is a difference is in the causal relationship between these fantasies and dysphoria. The trans community believes that these fantasies are a sign of a repressed female identity and a sign that one is “really trans” and must transition. Otherwise, according to the community, these fantasies will persist and get worse and worse until they become overwhelming and the only alternative is transition. Critics of the trans community tend to take the reverse position, that the fantasies are driving the gender transition and therefore dismissing transition as the product of “delusion” or “fetish-driven behavior”. People that are questioning are caught in the middle and I see numerous people questioning “whether they have a transgender identity or a fetish”, attempting to determine which causes which.”

Then at the end of the same post:

“I think people really are letting go of a false self in the process of transition, the trick is not to just adopt a second one...”

I think that no one disagrees with that opening paragraph. Whether you read Benjamin, Blanchard, Vitale or anyone else this is an observation of fact. What not everyone agrees with is the origin of the dysphoria.

ThirdWayTrans’s ending statement relates to something I can viscerally understand. Back when I was questioning my gender identity and whether I needed to transition, I was perhaps fooling myself into thinking that a true and more authentic self awaited me. I have heard other transsexuals say this: “my authentic self”. But what is that? Is your current self who happens to have a penis inauthentic?

I consider my identity just as I am to be completely authentic; including the reality that I happen to have gender dysphoria. What I have done over the last few years is to let go of my inauthentic self by acknowledging that I have this difference which I can now celebrate instead of reject.

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