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the illness model

I’ve abandoned the “gender dysphoria as illness” model. I used to espouse it but I found that it was getting in my way of treating my gender incongruity so I now just do what feels right without hurting my partner or my children.

Whether gender dysphoria is due to a birth anomaly or not the fact of the matter is that we suffer more from the slings and arrows of societal rejection than from anything else. If no one cared how we expressed gender, then transgender people wouldn’t be conflicted. Our parents and our peers would accept us exactly as we are and we would see very little turmoil over this issue. This happens now in certain cultures like Samoa, Thailand or India where third genders are more tolerated than in the west. But even here we are starting to come around slowly.

I know some people reject any form of discussion of gender dysphoria being an abnormality and prefer to speak of their inner female. All of that is fine by me since no one understands where all of this comes from anyway. The most important thing is that you need to be mentally and physically functional to live a healthy life; whatever encourages that personal happiness while allowing you to meet your commitments is going to be the right answer for you.

N has suffered throughout most of her life from severe episodes of clinical depression for which she takes medication. She is kind, intelligent and I love her but her condition does not define her as a person. Our dysphoria shouldn’t either.

You need to live your life with something that you can see negatively or positively. I have chosen to see the positive and after having tried the alternative I have no intention of going back to it.

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