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befriending your dysphoria

My dysphoria is not about wanting to remove all vestiges of maleness. Instead it’s always been about being drawn to being a woman. Don’t ask me how that idea got there, it's just been present from earliest memory.

Part of my life journey has been about rejecting and then ultimately repatriating this difference of ours. Something I was happy to express while I was little but which was removed via the public shaming that inevitably comes with our socialization.

I don't have the slightest doubt that this draw towards being female will continue to exist in me until my dying days and that it forms part of my intrinsic wiring. The reason I refer to it as dysphoria is because in the text book sense that is what it is: the desire to be the other sex. However that pull can be channeled in other ways and have it serve your purpose.

I am fortunate that despite my stature I do pass relatively well. But even if I didn’t, my age and life confidence compensates for any fears I might have about the fickle public’s opinion.

My attitude now is this: you know nothing about who I am or what my life has been like so mind your own business. If anyone stares at me the wrong way I simply stare back and maybe smile in order to disarm them. The fact this rarely happens is because most people see a person comfortable in their own skin regardless of what gender they see.

Removing every ounce of insecurity about this is pivotal for all of us who grew up during the time when this was deeply frowned upon. Once you have gotten there (if you aren't there already) you will be in a better position to know whether to proceed further or not.


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