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your personal journey of transition

I feel that creating a definition of what transition means for you is important. Transition is not a destination but instead a process. The first step comes with accepting that you are a transgender individual and you were born that way. What you do after that is up to you to decide.

This blog is on the record many times as being neither for nor against a complete gender role transition. Instead I advocate the idea that you should be of sober mind when you embark on such a journey and that you understand that it’s not going to necessarily be a picnic.

I have come to think of transition as the journey towards a place where you are comfortable managing your gender dysphoria.

There are many positive stories of transition but also of some that are less convincing and some that are downright tragic. The fact is that some people will reject you and this will include family members. Jobs and marriages may be lost and perhaps relationships with children jeopardized. It’s not about wanting to keep male privilege but rather doing the least harm to your life as well as to those around you who love you.

Perhaps the first question we should ask ourselves is: What is the least amount of change that I can make in order to make my situation better?

For some this might only be regular cross-gender expression while for others nothing short of a complete transition will do. Only you can answer that question.

I think the first and most important step is to accept who you are fully and completely. Every single vestige of guilt must be removed from your mind. Otherwise you are not going to be able to think clearly about how to proceed.

I seem to see two types of individuals who make for the most successful transitions: the older and mature late transitioner who has thought about this a lifetime and is as sure as they are going to be and the very young and persistent transsexual who has been sure since day one.

The group in between there is often a mixed bag of results with success and failure coming in almost equal parts. Human psychology is such that once you have undergone an irreversible procedure very few people are going to admit to themselves or to others that they made a mistake. At best they may tell you that it’s been a neutral change in their lives.

I eventually had no choice but to arrive at a place where I was not going to allow anyone to take away a basic right to express gender the way I needed to. I had spent my life letting others define that for me because I was afraid. I gave them permission to define who I was which was entirely my own fault.

Your life is a journey of transition on multiple levels. Maybe we should make sure that we define that experience for ourselves and that you do so without preconceived notions.

Now do yourself a favour and watch this very intelligent young man explain the possible biological causes for the transgender condition. For the record, he is a female to male transitioner.




Comments

  1. You are bearing fruit! Thanks so much!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Interesting video, Joanna. Thanks for including it in this post. My mother used DES excessively when she was pregnant with me. Her philosophy was..."if one pill was good, two must be even better". I often wonder if there is any connection. To date, have not seen anything conclusive. But, that doesn't explain those who are clearly trans and born post the DES era.

    I featured this post on T-Central.

    Calie xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks Calie. Yes there are definitely possible paths that lead to the creation of a transgender individual and neither is conclusive as of yet as you say. I am pretty convinced that it is a matter of time before we find the connections however. It's just that the human mind and body are so complex that finding what could be minute adjustments is likely not a simple thing.

      Delete
  3. and no you are right the post-DES crowd is not explained that way. Maybe there are several ways. I do know that we see increasing amounts of estrogenic compounds ending up in lakes and rivers and that has only gotten worse since our era.

    ReplyDelete

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