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Netherworld

I inhabit a netherworld.

On the old Harry Benjamin scale I am fairly certain I would be classified as a non surgical transsexual; otherwise known as a type IV. Therefore I have had to think long and hard about what to do about my dysphoria. The conclusion has not come easily.

I have spiritual and philosophical objections to tampering with my body but even if that were not the case, my dysphoria is not potent enough to demand a physical correction.

This makes your life more complex in some ways because you reside between genders and cope the best way you can. That coping mechanism took me decades to find but find it I did.

It's important to know yourself and weigh what will truly make you happy but if you think you inhabit the same grey zone that I do, you need to then find a balance that works to moderate your dysphoria. If it were so simple it would not take as long as it does. Your obstacles will include your own lack of self acceptance, that of your family as well as pockets of society.

If you are currently struggling with this weighty subject, resolve to take steps this new year to come out and get help. You might find that coming out is not nearly as bad as you feared and even if it is at least you will have embarked on your first steps towards living honestly.

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