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conditional love

All of this openness about transgender issues in the media is showing everyone what we already instinctively knew: that there isn't really a perfect gender binary. Fear of prejudice and rejection kept people from coming out. Well now they're out and it's a bit of a kaleidoscope. Yes there are cases that make us shake our head and so what? People have a right to express themselves so long as they do no harm to others.

We are still talking about a statistically small slice of the population but it would make little sense if there were anomalies everywhere else in nature expect in this area. What we do now is pivotal and the policies and laws that nations adopt will have far reaching effects on the ability of transgender and transsexual people to lead normal and productive lives. But even if you identify as neither you should expect protection from laws meant to safeguard freedom of expression and diversity.

I grew up in an extremely religious household and yet the extremism of some people today disturbs me. Some Christians claim to follow Christ and yet compliment that with a disdain for anything they do not comprehend or does not fit into their little black and white portrait of how things should be. If you have lived a while you will note just how little the concept of black and white actually describes the world we live in.

People want to be loved and will forsake being themselves in order to obtain that most precious commodity. This is what makes us think we need to conform and in some cases that turns out to be true. But is conditional love based on someone else's vision for your life ultimately the best kind?


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my last post

This will be my last blog post.

When I wrote recently that this blog had another seven years of life in it I was trying to convince myself that it was true. It was in fact a little bit of self delusion.

With almost 3,000 posts to date I have accomplished what I set out to do which was to heal myself and in the process share some of the struggle I had been through with others on the chance they might find some value in my words. After seven years of writing, my life still isn't perfect; no one's is. But I have discovered a path forward completely free of the trappings which society would have had me adopt so I could fit in.

Over the last 25 years of my life I have turned over every stone I could find while exploring this topic and in the process realized that we haven't even begun to scratch the surface of this deeply complex subject. What I have ultimately learned is that my instincts have more value than what someone who isn't gender dysphoric writes about me. We are …


While this blog is most definitely over, I wanted to explain that part of the reason is that it was getting in the way of writing my next book called "Notes, Essays and Short Stories from the North" which will combine philosophy, trans issues, my observations on life, some short fiction and things that have happened to me over my life and continue to (both trans related and not).

When it is complete I will post the news here and will be happy to send you a free copy upon request in either PDF or eBook format. All I ask is that you provide me with some feedback once you're done reading it.

I'm only in the early stages so it will be a while.

Be well all of you....

sample pages...

love of self

If you feel you are doing something wrong it shows. Your demeanor, body language and facial expression all conspire to betray you.

You are a clandestine "man in a dress"; you know it and everyone else can too. Your cover has been blown. I've been there and it's frustrating. The source goes back to your self image and the notion that you are somehow a freak of nature; and perhaps you are but what of it? the only way out is to embrace yourself fully and unconditionally. I don't mean to suggest that you are perfect but just that you were created this way and you need not seek forgiveness for it. You are a creation of God.

Misinterpreted religion is a big culprit in all this. These negative images of yourself came from reinforcement of stereotypes by ignorant people interpreting what is right and moral by their own barometer. You simply ingested the message and bought it as the gospel truth. Self confidence and critical thinking is the way out of your dilemma. It can…