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self acceptance and healing

I remember it like it was yesterday. There I was crying in the shower thinking no one could hear me. It must have been the late 1970's and I felt trapped. I didn't know how I was going to deal with my crossdressing desires and I was having a meltdown of panic.

My father heard me and knocked on the door. I was certain that my sobbing was inaudible over the dull roar of cascading hot water. He asked if everything was all right and I composed myself quickly enough to reassure him. As I stated in a recent entry he went to his grave without knowing anything about all this.

It took me the better part of the next 35 years to come to terms and find a solution for myself.

As most of you know this blog is about finding self acceptance and healing. It is also about finding alternatives to transition because not all the answers lie there. There is still something uniquely wonderful in expressing two facets of your internal identity and I think that many of you are doing just that. Others need to go further and that is good too.

Someone wrote to me a very lovely and heartfelt summation of their life which in many ways paralleled my own. I have come to recognize the same patterns in the histories of transgender people and we eventually come to a place of internal peace and acceptance.

If you are not there already I hope you will be soon.

Comments

  1. Ever since I came to accept Rachel, I've liked my male self a lot more. This is good thing because I'm not situated to transition.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That has been exactly my experience as well Rachel

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