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the sexual equation

I wanted to elaborate a little more on yesterday's post.

How does the presence of arousal invalidate a transition? Actually it doesn’t. Not one bit.

Somehow the notion became prevalent that in order for someone to be a transsexual one must apparently be some sort of asexual or not have any fantasies about wanting to become a woman. But then when pre-transition transsexuals have sex what do they fantasize about? Well being a woman and having sex as a woman.

Even androphilic transsexuals reported a degree of what Blanchard terms Autogynephilia although reported in lower proportions than gynephilics. Go and read Anne Lawrence’s own statistics for validation of this.

The truth is that it is exceedingly difficult to remove sex from the equation because we are essentially sexual beings. Somewhere along the line, pre-transition transsexuals started to downplay the role of sex in their narratives to their reassignment gatekeepers.

But there is a simple explanation for this: many of us were raised in a prudish culture that associated sexual behavior outside of the norm with deviance. Unless you were having heterosexual intercourse with the purposes of procreating you were participating in something subversive or dirty. The fact that you have a dysphoric brain automatically introduces anomalies into the equation that invite omission when seeking treatment. Why risk being turned down for having unusual sexual fantasies you tell yourself.

But if you possess a cross-wired brain that aspires to be female would you not take that role in your fantasies? It strikes me as rather obvious that it would.

The statistics point out that people who are hell bent on transition are most often happy afterwards and this regardless of their sexual orientation. The woman I ran into a few weeks ago told me the brother (now sister) who transitioned over 20 years ago is happily living as a lesbian woman.

It took me the longest time to get around this obstacle because my repressed sexual identity would not allow me to think clearly around this issue. But then I grew up in a household where even the word masturbation was never used. I had intercourse for the first time in my early 30’s upon being just married and then was mortified to discover that I needed to take the mental role of the female in order to be able to orgasm. I was in deep denial back then.

That this happens is not in question. It is a fact and there is nothing shameful about it.

Now do I think that this fact alone exclusively drives someone to transition?

Well look at it this way: If all you were seeking were sexual gratification you would have no impetus or motive to move in that direction whatsoever and you'd be best off leaving the original equipment intact n’est ce pas?

I can't give you all the answers to this exceedingly complex topic but I can certainly recognize when someone else clearly can't either.


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If you feel you are doing something wrong it shows. Your demeanor, body language and facial expression all conspire to betray you.

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Misinterpreted religion is a big culprit in all this. These negative images of yourself came from reinforcement of stereotypes by ignorant people interpreting what is right and moral by their own barometer. You simply ingested the message and bought it as the gospel truth. Self confidence and critical thinking is the way out of your dilemma. It can…