Skip to main content

dysphoria and sexual release

Recently I was reading a thread posted on the Susan’s Place website where the person stressed about whether they were transsexual based on the fact that immediately following masturbatory release their TS feelings seemed to subside. Of course they inevitably returned and based on the comments received this person was not unique in this manner. Many of the responses were quite interesting and very perceptive.

This issue used to worry me as well and make me think that my gender dysphoria was not real.

It turns out that all people masturbate. Some a little, some a lot, some almost never and some dressed as women or not. Some do it to fantasies imagining themselves having relations with men and/or women and some, like me, do it while imagining myself doing something very intrinsically female.

I used to try and force myself to masturbate and in those moments afterwards revel in the fact that I didn’t really have gender dysphoria and that it was all in my head. The feelings return of course and don't go away unless you transition.

Sexual feelings need to be released and for people with dysphoria it may even help relieve the stress of having this condition in the first place.

If you, like me, were unfortunate enough to grow up religious and sexually repressed, masturbating to anything meant you were doing something wrong in the first place. Having it be that much more abnormal made it worse and only encouraged me to bury the feelings that much harder.

I can laugh about this now but it was certainly no laughing matter at the time.

Comments

  1. Hi Joanna,
    At the risk of divulging TMI,you are absolutely correct when you state sexual feelings need to be released. And after release, instead of having my transexual feelings subside,the opposite effect rings true -knowing that I am a confident, sexual being.

    Best,Peggy

    ReplyDelete
  2. I agree Peggy and the trick for me has been compartmentalizing the feelings and channeling them into my time as Joanna.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

how times change

How times have changed.

Whereas transition was something not to even contemplate for us, here is a young trans person who felt the opposite pressure. She looks and sounds extremely passable but decided it wasn't for her despite the social media presence of young transitioners potentially inspiring her to.

We are all different and I happen to think she's rather a smart cookie as well...


indoctrination

As transgender people, organized religion hasn't really been our friend however on the other hand it has often had little to do with true spirituality. I needed to learn this over time and much of what I was taught growing up was steeped in the judgmental superstition of society instead of what some creator would demand of me.

Regardless of your belief system, you are a child of the universe and have been endowed with uniqueness and goodness of spirit. You have probably never wished anyone ill will and you have tried your best to live within the absurd coordinate system of humanity. Yet somehow belonging to the LGBT community was entirely your fault.

As I have grown older this inherent irrationality became increasingly evident to me. I knew I was a fundamentally good person and yet I was different in a way which was not of my choosing. Hence with this comprehension my self appreciation and esteem grew in proportion.

Religion for me today seems forever trapped in the misinterpretat…

more thoughts on cross gender arousal

I have been reflecting for many years on how cross gender arousal originates.

Firstly, the transgender child has already exhibited (or hidden) some gender variance for several years before they arrive at puberty (I wasn't older than 4 when scolded for wearing my mother's shoes). But when they hit puberty a dilemma occurs: the object of the sexual attraction is also someone whose gender they identify with either fully or partly. This contradiction affects the imprinting of the sexual identity but it is not well described as target location error but rather as a pull in two separate directions which leaves the gynephilic adolescent facing two distinct paths. I was keenly aware of this problem but wanted to be normal so I suppressed the dysphoric feelings as hard as I could. I wasn't attracted to my own image as a woman but rather to the idea of being a desirable woman as well as being with one. That juxtaposition fused to my gender core and I was left with a riddle to solve:…