Skip to main content

blocking everyone else out

Sorting yourself out after many years of formulating shifting narratives about what causes your gender variance and how to grapple with it can be a daunting task. I am also not certain that there is a perfect resolution to dysphoria in every case. Yes some people transition but it doesn’t go equally well for everyone. Hence there are those who you would think should be deliriously happy with the results and yet are left with ambiguous feelings while others thrive.

This is why I maintain here that creating a unique formula for yourself is superior to following a narrative that doesn't fit you. Life isn't a on-off switch analogous to an all or nothing proposition and the hardest part of the puzzle seems to be embracing that you are different from the rest of the world.

What makes this task a little easier today is that society is, on the whole, more tolerant and educated on most topics than its ever been. So while it’s no picnic to be transgender it is a better time than ever and so are your options in grappling with it.

The universal theme for me is that bucking any trend isn't easy no matter what your circumstances and the sooner you accept your situation the more readily will you be able to fashion a viable solution that works. I think the trick is that you also need to block out the opinions of the well-meaning whose own approach might not ultimately be to your liking. That includes other transgender people whose formula might be best suited just for them.

The old thinking was go all the way or suppress. But now gender variance may be a saving grace that many of us have always been looking for as an answer to our earliest prayers.



Comments

  1. Blocking everyone else out seems to me excellent advice. Intolerance isn't limited to the cisgender world. There is also an element of intolerance within the transgender community. (I wish my mind were such that I could quote each of these examples exactly, but alas my mind is more like Swiss cheese these days so a paraphrase will have to do.) The intolerance I have in mind is proclaimed by individuals who tout HRT to the exclusion of any other path. Apparently HRT is the gateway, the definitive member card to the transgender community. Both examples were recently found on a popular forum.

    1. You will never achieve the beauty you desire without HRT.

    2. You can't be a real trans-woman without taking HRT.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. everyone has an opinion on this subject Kati but it is like trying to hit a moving target. You are entirely on your own and the best thing you can do is what works for you and brings you peace of mind. Everything else must be discarded...

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

One transgender woman's take on AGP

This entry from the transhealth website dates back to 2001 and it offers a very nice dissection of the now mostly debunked but still controversial AGP theory and how this transgender woman could care two cents about it. People who have been trying to marginalize the experience of gynephilic transwomen have pushed for the stigmatizing idea that they are actually perverted men. Well this soul, who couldn't give a hoot either way, isn't buying any of it and her frankness at times had me chuckling to myself as I read her posting. If we ever met I would give her a hug for seeing through the BS but mostly for being herself: "About a year ago I was reading on Dr. Anne Lawrence’s site about a new theory of the origin of trans called “autogynephilia.” This theory asserts that many trans women—and transsexual women in particular—desire reassignment surgery because they are eroticizing the feminization of their bodies. The first thing that struck me about it, of course, was t

Never Say Never....

 I was certain that I would never post here again and yet, here I am. It’s been several years, and life has changed me yet again. I have burrowed further into my psyche to discover more internal truths about myself all in the silence of a life lived with more periods of reflective solitude than ever before. After attempting for many years to be a problem solver for others, I needed to dig deeply to discover who I was, which should be a necessity for all people and an absolute imperative for those of us who dare rub against the grain of conventional society. The most important thing we can do for ourselves is honor the internal voice which has driven us since childhood. That whisper which we were compelled to ignore through our initial indoctrination must be listened to again for guidance. I knew I had spent too long heeding messaging that wasn’t working for me as a trans person, and it was time to stop. For the world gleefully basks in a level ignorance and hypocrisy we are not abl

my last post

This will be my last blog post. When I wrote recently that this blog had another seven years of life in it I was trying to convince myself that it was true. It was in fact a little bit of self delusion. With almost 3,000 posts to date I have accomplished what I set out to do which was to heal myself and in the process share some of the struggle I had been through with others on the chance they might find some value in my words. After seven years of writing, my life still isn't perfect; no one's is. But I have discovered a path forward completely free of the trappings which society would have had me adopt so I could fit in. Over the last 25 years of my life I have turned over every stone I could find while exploring this topic and in the process realized that we haven't even begun to scratch the surface of this deeply complex subject. What I have ultimately learned is that my instincts have more value than what someone who isn't gender dysphoric writes about me. We