I was certain that I would never post here again and yet, here I am. It’s been several years, and life has changed me yet again. I have burrowed further into my psyche to discover more internal truths about myself all in the silence of a life lived with more periods of reflective solitude than ever before. After attempting for many years to be a problem solver for others, I needed to dig deeply to discover who I was, which should be a necessity for all people and an absolute imperative for those of us who dare rub against the grain of conventional society. The most important thing we can do for ourselves is honor the internal voice which has driven us since childhood. That whisper which we were compelled to ignore through our initial indoctrination must be listened to again for guidance. I knew I had spent too long heeding messaging that wasn’t working for me as a trans person, and it was time to stop. For the world gleefully basks in a level ignorance and hypocrisy we are not abl
I remember my mother insisting once that "Oh no, we cannot hang out the laundry to dry on a Sunday. What would the neighbors think!" She was not a very religious person, but the fear of embarrassment and social ostracision was so strong that this was not possible.
ReplyDeleteRoxy's tragedy might be caused by this simple mechanism: Fear of embarrassment.
And I suspect this is also how sensitive people become people pleasers. We sense this fear and do everything we can to help our loved ones to avoid that embarrassment, sacrificing our own happiness in the process.
I find it hard to find room in my heart for forgiveness when it comes to people like her family members.
I am afraid that I am the same Jack although I have been fortunate in that my family has been very understanding. I cannot for the life of me understand how people can be so cruel...
DeleteHer story is so heart wrenching. Amazing how three siblings and parents just turned their backs on her. As Roxy said, their actions speak volumes about their character. Thank goodness for her older brother, his family, and her wife and daughter. I can well imagine how distraught she must feel.
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