You have to feel for Roxy as she tried her best all her life to conform to family expectation only to be rejected once she transitioned. It was a case of conditional love in her case which is so unfortunate. But wouldn't you know there was a silver lining where she least expected it....
This will be my last blog post.
When I wrote recently that this blog had another seven years of life in it I was trying to convince myself that it was true. It was in fact a little bit of self delusion.
With almost 3,000 posts to date I have accomplished what I set out to do which was to heal myself and in the process share some of the struggle I had been through with others on the chance they might find some value in my words. After seven years of writing, my life still isn't perfect; no one's is. But I have discovered a path forward completely free of the trappings which society would have had me adopt so I could fit in.
Over the last 25 years of my life I have turned over every stone I could find while exploring this topic and in the process realized that we haven't even begun to scratch the surface of this deeply complex subject. What I have ultimately learned is that my instincts have more value than what someone who isn't gender dysphoric writes about me. We are …
When I wrote recently that this blog had another seven years of life in it I was trying to convince myself that it was true. It was in fact a little bit of self delusion.
With almost 3,000 posts to date I have accomplished what I set out to do which was to heal myself and in the process share some of the struggle I had been through with others on the chance they might find some value in my words. After seven years of writing, my life still isn't perfect; no one's is. But I have discovered a path forward completely free of the trappings which society would have had me adopt so I could fit in.
Over the last 25 years of my life I have turned over every stone I could find while exploring this topic and in the process realized that we haven't even begun to scratch the surface of this deeply complex subject. What I have ultimately learned is that my instincts have more value than what someone who isn't gender dysphoric writes about me. We are …
I remember my mother insisting once that "Oh no, we cannot hang out the laundry to dry on a Sunday. What would the neighbors think!" She was not a very religious person, but the fear of embarrassment and social ostracision was so strong that this was not possible.
ReplyDeleteRoxy's tragedy might be caused by this simple mechanism: Fear of embarrassment.
And I suspect this is also how sensitive people become people pleasers. We sense this fear and do everything we can to help our loved ones to avoid that embarrassment, sacrificing our own happiness in the process.
I find it hard to find room in my heart for forgiveness when it comes to people like her family members.
I am afraid that I am the same Jack although I have been fortunate in that my family has been very understanding. I cannot for the life of me understand how people can be so cruel...
DeleteHer story is so heart wrenching. Amazing how three siblings and parents just turned their backs on her. As Roxy said, their actions speak volumes about their character. Thank goodness for her older brother, his family, and her wife and daughter. I can well imagine how distraught she must feel.
ReplyDelete