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it happens first in the mind

Before anything else transition must happen in the mind.

That little switch must go off when you realize who you are and how you need to proceed. Barring that there is no sense in changing anything because it is too dangerous when you are conflicted.

I know that some people transition because they know themselves and hence do enormously well. Others, perhaps mired in the insecurity that they must fit into the binary, might opt for a process they may regret later.

I think your mind should be clear of doubt and you should be absolutely certain that this is right for you. Otherwise just be a happy trans person and find your own place in a spectrum where there is plenty of room.

I will write about my two lovely dinners with Rhonda Williams in a forthcoming post, but one thing we both touched upon numerous times was finding your own place as a unique human being who must by necessity play by their own rules.

Comments

  1. Yup. It is obvious but sometimes we need to state the obvious to clear away brushes of confusion.

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  2. I'm a girly girl with a tomboy streak. Never had a problem saying that. Kinda like it actually.

    So true that people can get noted in insecurity and force themselves into a binary without the proper introspection. I've seen them master some version of "passing," and uoon realizing transition is not a panacea, make it theor mission to enforce the binary on the next generation of trans people.

    I present as binary female because it's just how I am. I'm not thinking about how I'm presenting. I'm just doing what comes naturally. Just being. I'm one of the lucky ones who just knows herself, I suopose, but even I made sure to explore every facet of myself with years of introspection and therapy. I hardly resent my boyhood, and it's a part of who I am as a trans woman. It is part of the mind I have actualized.

    Yes, this is about one's mind. The authentic expression of one's subjective sense of self, where one resonates while and happy. getting to that point might entail modifying one's body, and if the means exist, fantastic. But if it does, it's in service of one's self. Of that one must be sure.

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  3. yes you are right in that transition is not a panacea. Rhonda mentioned to me recently about a trans person who had done the entire procedure but then was too afraid to go outside into the world because they had not first mentally accepted who they were before modifying their body.

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