my dinners with Rhonda

Rhonda Williams is a very happy person, has a contagious laugh and very much knows who she is.

As she was travelling on business to my neck of the woods, she contacted me in advance to see if I was available. Of course, I happily and wholeheartedly agreed to do so but looking at the photo of us below I realize I should have worn a different top; oh well...

We all have a long road to get comfortable with our identity and I have never met another transgender person who personifies coming to terms in such a positive way. She got there long before me and there is a comfort there that says: “this is who I am, take it or lump it”. Of course she doesn’t need to worry because she looks amazing and very few people would hazard to guess that she was anything other than a classy and well-dressed woman.

Needless to say we had a great time over both our dinners and the hours flew by. As I expected, our lives were eerily similar as we went over the different phases of how we came to finally accept who we are.

Rhonda lives in both worlds and slips back and forth with an ease that many of us in the community would envy. I think it comes from the wisdom of a life lived and coming to a place where you just don’t care what anyone else thinks.

In her own words:

"I am both genders psychologically and always have been. I take both roles seriously, being the best person that I can be. I am an individual who can be more or less masculine and more or less feminine as my frame of mind and circumstances allow. I think that is true of everyone, but a few, like myself, exhibit this greater prerequisite and range. In computer terms - my operating system is flexible.

To be forthcoming at this time in my life I consider myself to be female having worked as female for the last eight years. Also having a female gender identity for the last 30 years. I am in principle, gender nonconforming/gender fluid. I have learned that a full understanding can be both deceptively simple and extraordinarily complicated at the same time. Popeye said it best – I am what I am.

I had nothing to do with creating this gender incongruity and I accept the fact it is a permanent characteristic. My life is now “out to the world” so I had no alternative but to own it."




Comments

  1. Joanna what a lovely post. Meeting you was equally my pleasure. Two sister with a shared reality. Your top was beautiful and you are a beautiful person. I hope we meet again.

    Rhonda

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  2. Joanna, I love this post!! Rhonda's blog is one of my favorites and I found your blog via it. You both look amazing. And confident in who you are. The confidence is everything. Like Rhonda, I also look at myself as gender fluid, but I have not been able to take the step out into the world as you two have elegantly done. It is a dream someday. Your blogs are very inspirational and helpful in trying to better understand the inner femininity that resides.

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