comfort and confidence

This past Sunday I met my friend Leticia for lunch. I had not seen her for many months and I was glad to hear that her brain tumor seems to be responding well to radiotherapy.

We met about 4 years ago at a store and we began chatting and just hit it off. She is of Mexican heritage and we are close to being the same age. We exchanged numbers and we would then see each other from time to time for a coffee and catch up on life.

Leticia doesn’t know that I am transgender and I never got around to telling her because we were just casual social friends who would see each other sporadically. She was also someone who I could test my ability to be Joanna and see if I could be accepted as just another woman although this was never the original intent. It just happened that way.

So this time when she proposed we have Sunday lunch along with her two sisters it was another level up from our previous meetings. The fact that it all went very well with the conversation flowing nicely got me thinking how this level of close interaction was something that years ago I never would have thought possible. Yet it didn’t feel like it was a charade at all; I felt relaxed and didn’t worry about my voice or my mannerisms or how I used my hands.

The comfort and confidence I possess today is at a far greater level which is why I sometimes have reflected on whether social transition might be something I wanted. But in the end I don't think that is the case and I am instead simply acclimatizing to an increased comfort level with the way things are right now.





Comments

  1. You go, Joanna! I hope one day to walk in your ballet flats.

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