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another coming out

Recently I had lunch with one of the young estimators who occasionally works with me here in Toronto. We were chatting about work and our respective lives when she queried about my love life:

“So how is it going on that front. Meet anyone interesting lately?”

I reflected for a moment and then said:

“My situation is a little particular and if you don’t mind I can share something about myself”

She leaned in a bit and told me to please go ahead.

“I am trans” I said matter of factly.

She looked at me and smiled and said:

“Really? That’s so neat”

She is 35 years old and a lovely person which is why I knew I could confide in her. I then added that I had been reflecting on whether I would switch companies and begin working as Joanna and although she is totally open she also knows how conservative our business can be. So I told her that if I did decide to it would definitely be under a different umbrella.

Then yesterday I was coming back to my place and the lady who rents it to me, who is about my age, saw me coming in dressed. We both greeted each other very politely and I knew since I came back and forth for the last 4 months she had most certainly seen me. I told her I was trans and she said that I looked lovely and she did not care one whit but she did say to me:

"You know, our generation grew up repressed and I recently went to my high school reunion where people I guessed might have been gay at the time did not show up and I think that is a shame. My daughter's generation isn't like that"

"No they are indeed different" I responded.

My faith in the right people continues to be rewarded with wonderful responses over something which for me used to represent the end of the world.


Comments

  1. Isn’t it refreshing, Joanna, that these days many people understand and affirm our being our authentic selves? My sense is that all people (cis or otherwise) have similar feelings and we thus connect at least on that level.

    I recently bought a house and when meeting my neighbors told them that I am transgender and that it’s likely that they will see me in both male and female clothes. “What name should I use?” they asked. “First, I don’t mind. Second, if you can, use the one (Barry or Emma) that fits with my clothing.” They are all fine with that.

    You’re to be admired for coming and going from your place as Joanna and just recently telling your landlady. That’s courage, my friend. I’m so happy for you to hear her reaction.

    ReplyDelete
  2. It really is quite staggering. My generation treats the subject as salacious scandal. The one just behind me couldn't care less. The line between the two is that bright. Heh, sometimes I'm almost disappointed when I come out to younger people since I've braves myself for questions and attention. And their response borders on, "Okay, so what's for lunch?" 😛

    And sadly, yes, I would never return for a high school reunion. Had I been born between 5 and 10 years later, I probably would. It's uncanny.

    Ever forward!

    ReplyDelete
  3. When the internet started to open up I decided to use it to find two people long ago lost to me. One was the only school friend I ever wondered about so started with the school's website which was quite open back then. The Uk is not so obsessed with Class of naming so I took a guess only to hit the year before mine and was faced with the image of a beautiful woman, strange since for 666 years it had been an all boy's school! I found my friend and my being trans was just accepted...

    ReplyDelete
  4. The first time I told another person, I was trembling. I have to say, people have been so accepting and untroubled by it, that it no longer seems like any sort of a big deal at all.

    This gradual acceptance has led to a gradual relief from the enormous shame I formerly felt. The shame has nearly completely gone, and this is an enormously liberating feeling.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Vivienne you will find your life improve dramatically after this. People don't care nearly as much as we do and we expect rejection and we find none. I am happy for you!

      Delete
  5. Hope I don't offend. I find this refreshing, liberating, and hot!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I think that you deserve compliments for your posts. They are pieces of advice for me. I wait for next posts. They are my cup of tea. Thanks a million.email with love app freeemailwithlove

    ReplyDelete

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