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going solo

Rhonda’s recent guest post by Tami got me thinking about doing things on your own which I am apt to do a lot lately. What I like about this is that you are more likely to meet new people and discover new experiences than if you are accompanied by someone.

As I have become increasingly comfortable as Joanna and as I age, the inhibitions crumble and suddenly you find yourself deep in conversation with people who happen to be sitting next to you at a café, standing at a grocery lineup or with a merchant who happens to recommend some product to you.

Since I have been here I have made a series of acquaintances who, when I have told them I am going back to Montreal, have expressed interest in keeping in touch with me. For example, there is Anna who works at a jewelry counter at the Oakville mall chats with me whenever I pass her stall and she has told me she appreciates my easy-going style and that I am so nice. Then there’s Becca, Mae, Maria and Alex (that transgender young woman who doesn’t know about me) who I banter with every time I see them at the Starbucks.

My point is that there is no better way to test your mettle and build your confidence as a transgender person in the world than to talk to people you don’t know. If nothing else, it can only enrich your experience and make you a little wiser and more empathetic towards others.

I grew up very shy and having a deep dark secret didn't make things any easier but now I am making up for lost time and living the way I was meant to all along.

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love of self

If you feel you are doing something wrong it shows. Your demeanor, body language and facial expression all conspire to betray you.

You are a clandestine "man in a dress"; you know it and everyone else can too. Your cover has been blown. I've been there and it's frustrating. The source goes back to your self image and the notion that you are somehow a freak of nature; and perhaps you are but what of it? the only way out is to embrace yourself fully and unconditionally. I don't mean to suggest that you are perfect but just that you were created this way and you need not seek forgiveness for it. You are a creation of God.

Misinterpreted religion is a big culprit in all this. These negative images of yourself came from reinforcement of stereotypes by ignorant people interpreting what is right and moral by their own barometer. You simply ingested the message and bought it as the gospel truth. Self confidence and critical thinking is the way out of your dilemma. It can…