feeling sexy

Here are the results of a recent survey of genetic women:

“A new hairdo, walking in heels and a glowing tan are among the things that make a woman feel sexy. Freshly applied lipstick, newly-shaved legs and a little black dress also have a positive effect on the psyche”

Are you surprised? I’m not because it is exactly the same list that makes transgender women feel sexy.

For a long time the idea was pandered about that transsexualism was rooted exclusively in aberrant sexuality. But of course you cannot separate the sexuality from the individual because that forms part of their overall makeup and the fact that genetic and transsexual women overlap here surprises no one.

We should also add here that women aren't always thinking about sex and neither are transgender women.

Pre transition transsexuals would not readily admit they found these things sexy because they were afraid to be seen as perverted men in front of gatekeepers who understood nothing about their condition.

Today we know better.


  1. Excellent point, Joanna. I had a short discussion about how, from time to time, I feel a small twinge of sexiness when, for example, feeling affirmed as myself, buying clothes, or, even feeling good in my own skin as I transition. Was this, I asked, something we should talk about? I went on to say that I don't "pursue" these feelings...

    Her advice? Use these feelings more as a confirmation that I'm on the right track. It's as if at those moments my psyche is telling me that my internal compass is in alignment with the direction I'm following.

    That conversation was very helpful for me. All too often I find myself second guessing myself: there's so often multiple considerations to our decisions and lives. I find my awareness of the positiveness of these feelings help settle my mind.

  2. Understanding our condition is hard and most people still don't get it. At my age, I've given up expecting/hoping for understanding and just savor crumbs of support I get from close friends. I'll be dead before the general population becomes knowledgeable and welcoming.

  3. Nice to know I'm normal in at least one way!

  4. So thats what that feeling is, I feel sexy!
    Apart from the hairdo and tan, the rest (and more) apply.
    Even though the chances are rare and extremely short by ‘woman getting ready standards’, the journey and results give me a feeling of wellness, contentment and in sharper focus with myself.
    I also have this when I’m not ‘dolled up’, for a better expression, but not so often and intensive.
    [Ed: That ‘focus’ is because of constantly trying to keep balance on those heels of yours!]
    Ah! learned something else new about myself today..
    Abi x

  5. Bingo! Cis women can feel sexy when they dress a certain way or wear a certain face. And so can trans women. Cuz this is part of feminine sexuality, even sexuality in general. If one starts with the premise that anyone born ostensibly reproductively male must have masculine sexuality (I'm looking at you, BBL), you'll interpret everything that way about trans women's sexuality. They must *desire* sexual pleasure in a masculine way. If one starts from the premise that human sexuality is diverse, and that even someone born ostensibly reproductively male could have "feminine" forms of desire - wanting to be wanted, to be desirable (as opposed to wanting to spread one's seed everywhere, as it were - looking at you BBL, again) - you'll be able to understand that identity can affect sexuality.

    No one has this pinned down in science, and anyone who claims to is forced to twist themselves into semantic animal balloons explaining away the inconsistencies and nonsense in their hypotheses (i.e. Everyone who says their experience is not the way I describe is an effing liar, and even if not, their experience is pseudoandrophilia, not genuine androphilia.) I leave it to future generations of doctors and scientists to figure it out. I'm just grateful my therapists were open to my being ME first and foremost.


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