Skip to main content


Think about it: the people most opposed to those who are transgender are either deeply ignorant on the subject or have an agenda. The rest of the population can be reasonably educated over time but not everyone will buy that we are not a social movement hell bent on destroying society.

My experience with the kinds of reasonable and educated people I either work with or frequent as friends is that they are generally supportive even if they cannot relate. Even my religious brother, who I had a conversation with not that long ago, understood that one cannot paddle upstream forever and that whatever the cause of my dysphoria it deserves to be treated. When I mentioned that I was weighing social transition he understood and whatever I needed to do was up to me. My 82-year-old mother is much the same although perhaps a little more reticent. In the end, she concedes that she wants to see me happy and that is what counts most.

I have not decided anything yet but it is good to know that I will have support in places where previously I wasn’t all that sure.

We often tend to be our own worst enemies.


  1. *sigh* Of course I wish you the best so please take this comment as supportive. My perspective on this subject differs: whereas you seem, by your language and ideas, to internalize the "problem," I don't. I don't believe we are a problem at all. The fact that society doesn't accept or welcome us is not our fault; it is society's. Or, more precisely, current society in this location. Other societies in other places and at other times have been more understanding.

    That said, I certainly recognize and sympathize with the challenges we all face, especially someone as courageous as you attempting social transition. I don't blame us for the existence of those challenges. Probably because of estrangement I felt early in life, I mentally live separate from unaccepting views of others.

    Happy holidays.

    1. Ally you need to live in your own headspace on this or you will literally go mad. I think you have it right when you say that "it is society's problem".

      Happy Holidays to you as well!

    2. For me, society’s problem became my parents’ problem, became my problem. I’m 61 and having met with several trans kids of 15 or less seems to inform me that this chain is broken or otherwise crumbling with rust.

      But, with respect to my problem we must admit that we cannot control others, only (perhaps, it’s hard) ourselves, And given that the today’s societal problem is deteriorating (slow as it is), “my problem” is the one I’m prioritizing. That said, I believe that my visibility in public contributes to helping the societal problem as a result of my being unashamedly visible.

    3. Your visibility is nothing short of pivotal Emma 😊


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

One transgender woman's take on AGP

This entry from the transhealth website dates back to 2001 and it offers a very nice dissection of the now mostly debunked but still controversial AGP theory and how this transgender woman could care two cents about it. People who have been trying to marginalize the experience of gynephilic transwomen have pushed for the stigmatizing idea that they are actually perverted men. Well this soul, who couldn't give a hoot either way, isn't buying any of it and her frankness at times had me chuckling to myself as I read her posting. If we ever met I would give her a hug for seeing through the BS but mostly for being herself: "About a year ago I was reading on Dr. Anne Lawrence’s site about a new theory of the origin of trans called “autogynephilia.” This theory asserts that many trans women—and transsexual women in particular—desire reassignment surgery because they are eroticizing the feminization of their bodies. The first thing that struck me about it, of course, was t


While this blog is most definitely over, I wanted to explain that part of the reason is that it was getting in the way of writing my next book called "Notes, Essays and Short Stories from the North" which will combine philosophy, trans issues, my observations on life, some short fiction and things that have happened to me over my life and continue to (both trans related and not). When it is complete I will post the news here and will be happy to send you a free copy upon request in either PDF or eBook format. All I ask is that you provide me with some feedback once you're done reading it. I'm only in the early stages so it will be a while. Be well all of you.... sample pages...

my last post

This will be my last blog post. When I wrote recently that this blog had another seven years of life in it I was trying to convince myself that it was true. It was in fact a little bit of self delusion. With almost 3,000 posts to date I have accomplished what I set out to do which was to heal myself and in the process share some of the struggle I had been through with others on the chance they might find some value in my words. After seven years of writing, my life still isn't perfect; no one's is. But I have discovered a path forward completely free of the trappings which society would have had me adopt so I could fit in. Over the last 25 years of my life I have turned over every stone I could find while exploring this topic and in the process realized that we haven't even begun to scratch the surface of this deeply complex subject. What I have ultimately learned is that my instincts have more value than what someone who isn't gender dysphoric writes about me. We