busted

This was the first time I have ever been called out by someone who recognized me in male mode but it happened this past week. Young Sarah who works in a Promenades de la Cathedrale watch store saw me and was so excited that she just had to call out to me with a big wave and a booming "hello, hello!"

“I was sure you were a woman!” she tells me excitedly.

I explained to her about my transgender background and she seemed so impressed that I could live the way I do which I explained to her is far from being easy. She commented on how my delicate features could go either way which is why she had no doubt and didn't let my height be an issue because "there are so many tall women out there"

“I am so impressed by transgender people” she added and I proceeded to tell her that we tend to lead complicated lives with many of us not making it. She just stood there wide-eyed listening to every word.

Sarah is all of 24 years old, married and already the mother of a young boy. She is part of the new generation that really gets it and she sees a person instead of a gender stereotype in front of her. She asks about my wife or husband since she doesn't know my orientation and I tell here that I had once been married to a woman and that my last relationship has been over for almost 2 years.

“Well if it doesn’t work with a woman how about a man?” she says smiling at me

“Who knows” I answer back.

We spoke for a few minutes before I had to go back to the office and she made sure that I promised to come back and see her.

I told her that I would and then I walked away glad for the experience. Sarah is now one more civilian who just a little more educated on this issue.


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Comments

  1. How nice to encounter someone supportive and willing to learn. Good for both of you.

    I've also noticed some generational difference. Many of my younger friends are less intolerant than older ones. So I believe that's empirically true, for whatever reason.

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    Replies
    1. Ally I believe this is empirically true because these kids were brought up far more open minded than we were. I brought up my two that way and they accept people for who they are. It bodes well for the future.

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  2. I really have no idea how well I pass. A friend told me recently that I shouldn’t assume that I don’t but it’s hard to know. Anyway, in some ways I think it’s better if we don’t because our visibility and presence underscores the fact that we’re just people, joyfully living our lives as our true selves. Otherwise it’s all too easy for cis people to see us as mysterious, maybe scary, and since we’re otherwise so rare, easy to marginalize.

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    Replies
    1. Don't worry about how well you pass instead focus on your internals. The rest can be learned through trial and error but without the confidence to be right in your own skin no amount of covering will fix that. 😊

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