is transition inevitable?

Is transition inevitable? I have been pondering this question as my own life seems to be heading in that direction only I do not yet know what form it will take.

Those of you who, like me, have suffered from potent lifelong gender dysphoria have probably felt throughout your lives as if you were holding back the tide. You suppressed the feelings and perhaps indulged in periodic crossdressing to soothe those intense periods. As we age however, the reasons for suppressing become less evident.

Still, I never expected to be in this position with the dearth of reasons not to live a more honest life slowly evaporating. I am alone with two adult children who have told me they just want me to be happy. My company is giving me the green light to transition and I am working as a woman part time on a side project. I am also virtually living full time in my social life.

Yet as always, I am careful to tread with caution because this has worked for me thus far. I didn’t need to rush and because of that have no regrets. I have honored my responsibilities in life and did the best I could to help raise my children by sparing them from this as much as possible. Now it may be finally my turn to determine what is right for me.

Is transition inevitable? I cannot yet answer that question which means the jury is still out. However, it is interesting to note how the goal posts have kept moving ever so slowly over the last 2 years.

Image result for moving goalposts

Comments

  1. Joanna, If you have not read "No, Maybe, Yes" by Grace Stevens, you might find it useful. Although she transitioned late in life (older than you), her mental journey is the important part of the book.
    Best,
    Leann

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  2. Do whatever feels right for you.

    Lately I've been thinking about how we cede too much power to society in defining what being male/female looks like. I believe each of us should decide for ourselves what our gender is and gender-expression should be. I'm not in favor of adopting other people's views because they have no greater validity than our own.

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  3. Hi Joanna -

    I had no idea that one day I would chose to transition, I thought I was happy enough and what I was doing worked for me. Now, I'm upset I didn't do it sooner. I had no idea it would feel so good. It's a tough choice, and a highly personal one, but I am seriously thrilled that I took this path. Best of luck to you!

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