more on who we are

Finding out who you are takes time because we need to clean our palettes. For most people their grounding in gender education works because they fit within the gender binary. For us however, the process requires we carefully scrutinize a social education that worked against us. The more we become entrenched in it, the more difficult redefining ourselves became.

In my case, I had bought wholeheartedly into everything which is why I struggled and blamed myself for failing to live up to it perfectly. It wasn't until I realized that I could embrace my femininity without fear that things began to fall into place. This need not be an exaggerated form either and you won't see me posting pinup pictures here, but we can embrace the full spectrum of who we are without fear and bask in how freeing that is. We can repatriate our full range of expression to help formulate our own uniqueness.

Once this first part is accomplished you can then decide whether transition is for you or not; for your mind must be free of clutter.

In the end, we are not obliged to be archetypal caricatures of gender; we are above all human beings. Some of us eventually figure out that going with our own current is preferable to swimming against it.

It's okay to be whole.


  1. I'm not sure if entrenchment can be avoided. I have a feeling that it is part of the package even if one were to begin the process of redefining ( or should that be defining?) gender identity at a relatively early stage of life. Just a quick glance in a full length mirror is more than enough to call into question a whole host of feelings.

    1. agreed Kati it cannot which is why so many of us have a long journey back to find a new baseline but it is not impossible and, even if imperfect, it is better than living in a straight jacket for the rest of our lives :)


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