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headed in the right direction

Sometimes people ask me if I am seeing anyone including those who know I am trans to which I always give the same answer: I am battle fatigued. But there is more.

Over the last 2 years I have given a lot of thought to how transgender people from my generation or older can find companionship and I don’t think that it is easy. The overwhelming majority of the trans people I know are either closeted to their spouse, the spouse knows but doesn't want to see it, they are divorced due to this or suppressing their identity so they can stay married. There are some happy stories of course (Halle’s and Nadine’s come to mind) but the rest are about navigating around the elephant in the room to try and make things work.

Crossdressers can balance their lives because their dysphoria tends to be weaker or non-existent and periodic dressing seems to work for them, but I lean heavily towards the transsexual side of the spectrum making my life that much more complex.

However, by this age I have firmly decided that my identity takes number one priority and will never compromise that to make any relationship work. I am simply adjusting to being on my own by filling any voids with friendships.

Millennials are a different breed and have grown up in a world of acceptance hence trans people from that generation can more easily find partners of either gender. It is a group which has been spared the stereotypical education slotting people into rigid and predefined boxes.

Their slate is far cleaner of bias and I am reminded of this on a constant basis the more I deal with them which gives me much hope that we are headed in the right direction as a society.
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Comments

  1. It seems to me that one had better learn to enjoy one's own company for a solitary existence is possible outcome. I'm not saying this is anything approaching a "given" but it is a distinct possibility.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Much more than a distinct possibility Kati. We have two choices accept yourself or dont and try to squeeze yourself into a mainstream existence. I chose the former

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