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dysphoria versus euphoria

There seems to be an interesting relationship between gender dysphoria and euphoria. At some point during our discovery process our despair and frustration over not being able to express our gender identity morphs into the euphoria of opening up the floodgates and finally feeling freedom.

I am currently well past the euphoria stage and the liberation excitement has subsided into more everyday living. Putting on a dress and heels today is hardly a chore but it no longer carries the charge it once did. It just feels normal and right.

This is perhaps expected because there is a honeymoon phase to every new positive experience which brings us closer to balance and who we are. In this case, the authenticity we are finally able to live has us floating on endorphines for a while until things settle back down. Compare this to the times you were able to sneak into mom's closet when no one was home except that closet now belongs to me.

The dust settling down to a kind of normalcy is far superior to a binge and deprive cycle that had you feeling certain you were crazy at times. You are under the malaise of dysphoria which is never adequately fed and the stress created is something you don't need.

I prefer the way I live now much more.

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Comments

  1. Certainly true. It's funny how we can transition from highs/lows to routine. Anything can become normalized once it is a more familiar experience. I reflect on this often when looking backward at events in my life's journey.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. normalization is a good word to use here. Your life becomes normalized with routine but a routine that reflects who you are much more closely than before.

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  2. I like to think of this as when what once seemed extraordinary gradually becomes ordinary - although we may not even notice it while it's happening.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes that is a good way of putting it Connie. It is a gradual adaptation towards our normal.

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