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a series of events

How a core gender identity is developed is not fully understood. Yes, the fetus is initially female until a wash of testosterone (in the case of males) changes the physical characteristics before birth. How that process completes itself and how the rearing of the child is conducted must both contribute towards the development of their core gender identification.

I was a first born who had two sisters follow in quick succession plus my father, who was a reserved intellectual, also did not necessarily provide me with a looming masculine presence. As a result, I remember thinking of myself as almost genderless as a child and did not have a strongly developed sense of being a male.

I eventually did learn to do all the things I was expected to but my core identity remained essentially female. I just kept quiet about it.

How much nature plays into the initial equation is hard to know, but there are many cases of the only boy born into a family of mostly girls who does not become transsexual hence it must be a series of very unique factors in combination that make us who we are.

I believe that these factors are so intricate that you would not be able to precisely reproduce them in another child. It is the variability and unpredictability in a series of perfectly timed events that we do not control which must do it.

The fact that I am okay with all this now makes me no less fascinated with the mechanics.


  1. My continuing study of science teaches me that we still don't know how this happens. Or even what happens.

    Someone once told me my condition may/likely was caused by a drug commonly prescribed to pregnant women a half-century ago to prevent miscarriages (which my mother had before me). There was even a big lawsuit alleging this causation. I looked into the idea but later concluded that the actual cause doesn't matter to me. Today's reality is reality no matter how it came into being. Besides there is something magical about the mystery of our condition that ascribing it to a drug side-effect diminishes.

    1. I dont disagree here that it is not crucial to understand the process. What matters is to understand ourselves which has far more relevance. Some pregnant mothers were prescribed fertility drugs which undoubtedly had effects on the fetus but we will never know just how large a role they played.


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