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getting off the conventionality grid

Learning to get off the grid of conventionality takes time.

The reality is that we as transgender people are far from being conventional and, as even the possibility of stealth transitions disappears for those who counted on this in the past, we must get used to living in glass houses.

This was my biggest challenge: to accept that I wasn’t going to ever be able to lead a life like everyone else. Now this reality is by no means a terrible thing, but it is a hard pill to swallow when you desperately want to fit in which is what I thought I wanted for so long. Fitting into the mainstream is not something I desire today but instead I want to feel like I am an accepted part of our cultural diversity which is a very different thing. Many trans people stand out and that shouldn’t matter; what matters is that we are respected despite our difference.

Many of us don't pass and that shouldn't necessarily be the main target to aim for. Living in peace alongside the rest of society is what every living being who is different wants and we, like all the others, deserve it without question.

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Comments

  1. Imagine a society where the highest compliment one can get is "you are so normal!" ... oh, wait a minute ...

    I feel so lucky that fitting in has never been something important to me. What I have found is that once people get to know me, being trans is the least important thing about me they find to be unique.

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    Replies
    1. What a lovely thought my friend. Looking even more forward to our next lunch...

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One transgender woman's take on AGP

This entry from the transhealth website dates back to 2001 and it offers a very nice dissection of the now mostly debunked but still controversial AGP theory and how this transgender woman could care two cents about it. People who have been trying to marginalize the experience of gynephilic transwomen have pushed for the stigmatizing idea that they are actually perverted men.

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If we ever met I would give her a hug for seeing through the BS but mostly for being herself:

"About a year ago I was reading on Dr. Anne Lawrence’s site about a new theory of the origin of trans called “autogynephilia.” This theory asserts that many trans women—and transsexual women in particular—desire reassignment surgery because they are eroticizing the feminization of their bodies.

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