Skip to main content

love in the 21st century

A male friend called me last night to inform me that after a second attempt to make a relationship work, she decided to pull the plug.

It was breakup by attrition where the space between rendez-vous became increasingly wide and finally she stopped answering his texts.
Suddenly one came one day saying they had made a valiant go of it but it wasn't going to work. She strangely ended the text with an "I love you".

Perhaps it was asking too much to expect that 2 divorced people each with a child could make things work.

As bizarre as this breakup method was it didn't surprise me because love in the 21st century is increasingly spastic and erratic as well as frought with the kind of uncertainty that one had better brace for. People are strange creatures who are victims to their own baggage and the fickleness of today's world makes any commitment not worth the paper it's written on.

I told him that this was a best case scenario because he could, in his late fifties, finally focus on himself instead of the random wants of a person who isn't emotionally mature.

It is telling that our definition of love is hinged on a pick list of compatibility traits which focus on what we desire in another being while blatantly ignoring our own psychotic childhood traumas just begging to be tended to.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

One transgender woman's take on AGP

This entry from the transhealth website dates back to 2001 and it offers a very nice dissection of the now mostly debunked but still controversial AGP theory and how this transgender woman could care two cents about it. People who have been trying to marginalize the experience of gynephilic transwomen have pushed for the stigmatizing idea that they are actually perverted men. Well this soul, who couldn't give a hoot either way, isn't buying any of it and her frankness at times had me chuckling to myself as I read her posting. If we ever met I would give her a hug for seeing through the BS but mostly for being herself: "About a year ago I was reading on Dr. Anne Lawrence’s site about a new theory of the origin of trans called “autogynephilia.” This theory asserts that many trans women—and transsexual women in particular—desire reassignment surgery because they are eroticizing the feminization of their bodies. The first thing that struck me about it, of course, was t

Never Say Never....

 I was certain that I would never post here again and yet, here I am. It’s been several years, and life has changed me yet again. I have burrowed further into my psyche to discover more internal truths about myself all in the silence of a life lived with more periods of reflective solitude than ever before. After attempting for many years to be a problem solver for others, I needed to dig deeply to discover who I was, which should be a necessity for all people and an absolute imperative for those of us who dare rub against the grain of conventional society. The most important thing we can do for ourselves is honor the internal voice which has driven us since childhood. That whisper which we were compelled to ignore through our initial indoctrination must be listened to again for guidance. I knew I had spent too long heeding messaging that wasn’t working for me as a trans person, and it was time to stop. For the world gleefully basks in a level ignorance and hypocrisy we are not abl

my last post

This will be my last blog post. When I wrote recently that this blog had another seven years of life in it I was trying to convince myself that it was true. It was in fact a little bit of self delusion. With almost 3,000 posts to date I have accomplished what I set out to do which was to heal myself and in the process share some of the struggle I had been through with others on the chance they might find some value in my words. After seven years of writing, my life still isn't perfect; no one's is. But I have discovered a path forward completely free of the trappings which society would have had me adopt so I could fit in. Over the last 25 years of my life I have turned over every stone I could find while exploring this topic and in the process realized that we haven't even begun to scratch the surface of this deeply complex subject. What I have ultimately learned is that my instincts have more value than what someone who isn't gender dysphoric writes about me. We