no shortcuts

I am a fairly good case study in what many transsexuals go through:

- I have had gender dysphoria ever since I can remember and began dressing quite young and in private by using my mother's things.

- By puberty, arousal patterns began to show up, prompting me to begin a cycle of dress, orgasm and purge which lasted many years.

- Now with full acceptance achieved and in my fifties, the arousal is all but gone with a strong transgender identification remaining completely intact. I must now put more effort into fantasizing so that I can achieve orgasm. In parallel, my comfort as a female cements itself the longer I spend time in the real world.

The things I read about all happened to me in the similar pattern. The older we get, the stronger that bond becomes. I needed to experience it for myself to finally understand the testimonials.

The dampening of the arousal has helped immeasurably because I am more able to focus on the core identification which is distinctly female. Despite my persistent denials over the years, this is the way it has always been. I am living proof that you can run but you can't hide and, while others have done something about all this sooner, I can look back and realize I had far too much to overcome and a long road was going to be required.

For me there were to be no shortcuts to self comprehension and that's okay, because there are also no regrets.


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