Skip to main content

the river bend

Nothing and everything is inconsequential. We can hardly predict patterns in the sequence of events that get us somewhere and it's only when we look back that we are amazed at how things happen. Change a sequence by one minute and that person we met who ended up offering us that job would never have known we existed.

Some of us believe in fate or providence or the guiding hand of a God who leads us through the darkness of life. We don't get what we want but what we need we are told which reassures us that his presence will be felt in due time.

We have all had what seemed like fluke encounters that led us somewhere and then reconstructed the events in our minds. How much we marvelled at the fact that without a perfect orchestration, things would not have developed without such astounding good fortune. Of course, sometimes it's in reverse and we curse our bad luck.

I can look back in hindsight and recognize traces of guidance which is why I prefer to live day by day and not torture myself with fixed plans which won't always come to fruition. Sometimes it is best to float on that lazy river and see what is waiting for us around the bend.
-----------------------

NB: I've been asked if I want to play keys next year for a group that will do a set at my company's charity concert. I think I will do it.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

my last post

This will be my last blog post.

When I wrote recently that this blog had another seven years of life in it I was trying to convince myself that it was true. It was in fact a little bit of self delusion.

With almost 3,000 posts to date I have accomplished what I set out to do which was to heal myself and in the process share some of the struggle I had been through with others on the chance they might find some value in my words. After seven years of writing, my life still isn't perfect; no one's is. But I have discovered a path forward completely free of the trappings which society would have had me adopt so I could fit in.

Over the last 25 years of my life I have turned over every stone I could find while exploring this topic and in the process realized that we haven't even begun to scratch the surface of this deeply complex subject. What I have ultimately learned is that my instincts have more value than what someone who isn't gender dysphoric writes about me. We are …

epilogue

While this blog is most definitely over, I wanted to explain that part of the reason is that it was getting in the way of writing my next book called "Notes, Essays and Short Stories from the North" which will combine philosophy, trans issues, my observations on life, some short fiction and things that have happened to me over my life and continue to (both trans related and not).

When it is complete I will post the news here and will be happy to send you a free copy upon request in either PDF or eBook format. All I ask is that you provide me with some feedback once you're done reading it.

I'm only in the early stages so it will be a while.

Be well all of you....

sample pages...
















love of self

If you feel you are doing something wrong it shows. Your demeanor, body language and facial expression all conspire to betray you.

You are a clandestine "man in a dress"; you know it and everyone else can too. Your cover has been blown. I've been there and it's frustrating. The source goes back to your self image and the notion that you are somehow a freak of nature; and perhaps you are but what of it? the only way out is to embrace yourself fully and unconditionally. I don't mean to suggest that you are perfect but just that you were created this way and you need not seek forgiveness for it. You are a creation of God.

Misinterpreted religion is a big culprit in all this. These negative images of yourself came from reinforcement of stereotypes by ignorant people interpreting what is right and moral by their own barometer. You simply ingested the message and bought it as the gospel truth. Self confidence and critical thinking is the way out of your dilemma. It can…