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clothes do not make the woman

Giving myself permission to be girly took me a long time but it shouldn't have because it's fun to be a girl.

Enjoying putting on a dress and heels and doing my makeup isn't something to be apologetic about and something my friend Sherry has been trying to drill into my head for a long time. I enjoy being a girl; there I said. I'm also darned good at it because it has always felt perfectly natural. The more I have relaxed into that reality the more women see just another woman next to them. That is a sacrilegious and shameful thing to say for a non-trans person but I just happen to be trans.

I am never misgendered; not on the phone and not in person because I know I am a girl. That confidence is primordial to your ability to blend in. That, and more than a bit of practice.

Being a woman isn't about exaggerated femininity. It is about style and grace and carrying yourself as a feminine entity. You can be wearing a white T-shirt and jeans and still very much convey that energy.

Clothes do not make the woman; it is the woman who makes the clothes.


  1. So true. My world shifted once I gave myself permission to wear what made me feel good, .

  2. True. And our gender identity extends past changing cultural gender-markers. I sometimes wonder what my life would have been like as a woman 300 years ago. No makeup, no fancy clothes, no contemporary symbols of femininity.

    1. these markers change depending on era as well so what was masculine and feminine 300 years ago was different...


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