Skip to main content

gendered parenting

Gendered patenting is of course a reality. All parents do it no matter how subtle and they treat children with a combination of the expectation put on them along with perhaps their own unfulfilled aspirations.

Little girls are supposed to be respectful and ladylike and little boys independent, resourceful and masculine. At least, this was the world in which I grew up. My own feminine instincts were completely quashed to the point where I grew to reject and be disdainful of a nature I now completely embrace.

The two artificial silos of aggression versus compassion are not accurate and everyone has a combination of both but each sex had one of those suppressed so they could fit into a rigid structure.

Today we have thankfully reduced our appetite for the type of caustic masculinity and exaggerated femininity which enslaved a significant portion of our societies. By loosening the reins on children's enforced behavior we may hope one day to experience a world where everyone's natural affinities are given value and respect.

Now that would be something.

Both boys and girls possess many of the same qualities and our aim should be to allow the strengths inherent in each child to show through rather than hamstring them into artificial and forced models. The idea should not be to put everyone into the same bucket but rather to not stifle the freedom and choice of people to be who they are.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

how times change

How times have changed.

Whereas transition was something not to even contemplate for us, here is a young trans person who felt the opposite pressure. She looks and sounds extremely passable but decided it wasn't for her despite the social media presence of young transitioners potentially inspiring her to.

We are all different and I happen to think she's rather a smart cookie as well...


indoctrination

As transgender people, organized religion hasn't really been our friend however on the other hand it has often had little to do with true spirituality. I needed to learn this over time and much of what I was taught growing up was steeped in the judgmental superstition of society instead of what some creator would demand of me.

Regardless of your belief system, you are a child of the universe and have been endowed with uniqueness and goodness of spirit. You have probably never wished anyone ill will and you have tried your best to live within the absurd coordinate system of humanity. Yet somehow belonging to the LGBT community was entirely your fault.

As I have grown older this inherent irrationality became increasingly evident to me. I knew I was a fundamentally good person and yet I was different in a way which was not of my choosing. Hence with this comprehension my self appreciation and esteem grew in proportion.

Religion for me today seems forever trapped in the misinterpretat…

more thoughts on cross gender arousal

I have been reflecting for many years on how cross gender arousal originates.

Firstly, the transgender child has already exhibited (or hidden) some gender variance for several years before they arrive at puberty (I wasn't older than 4 when scolded for wearing my mother's shoes). But when they hit puberty a dilemma occurs: the object of the sexual attraction is also someone whose gender they identify with either fully or partly. This contradiction affects the imprinting of the sexual identity but it is not well described as target location error but rather as a pull in two separate directions which leaves the gynephilic adolescent facing two distinct paths. I was keenly aware of this problem but wanted to be normal so I suppressed the dysphoric feelings as hard as I could. I wasn't attracted to my own image as a woman but rather to the idea of being a desirable woman as well as being with one. That juxtaposition fused to my gender core and I was left with a riddle to solve:…