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great expectations

I've got two great kids. They are both doing well, are polite and secure in who they are. I've been talking to them about life since they were small and I think its helped them to be realistic about things without dampening their enthusiasm. They are both tolerant of other people and accept me exactly as I am. They also understand this subject fairly well and ask questions freely on occasion which I am more than happy to answer.

Therefore, it makes me ill every time I hear about children disowning a transgender parent with the caveat being that I would expect that person to be forthcoming and take their time coming out. However, if they expect to have instantaneous approval after keeping this a secret from their children they should give their heads a good shake. Unfortunately, I still read about this kind of scenario on occasion.

The reality is that we can be just as self serving and are not immune to being as callous as the rest of the population and, expecting people to get with the program once we are ready to undergo something as dramatic as a transition, should be a non-starter.

A family transitions slowly with you and adapts in baby steps which is a way of showing them respect. If, however, you have followed all the right moves to the letter and they still don't accept you then that is their problem and not yours.


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Whereas transition was something not to even contemplate for us, here is a young trans person who felt the opposite pressure. She looks and sounds extremely passable but decided it wasn't for her despite the social media presence of young transitioners potentially inspiring her to.

We are all different and I happen to think she's rather a smart cookie as well...


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Regardless of your belief system, you are a child of the universe and have been endowed with uniqueness and goodness of spirit. You have probably never wished anyone ill will and you have tried your best to live within the absurd coordinate system of humanity. Yet somehow belonging to the LGBT community was entirely your fault.

As I have grown older this inherent irrationality became increasingly evident to me. I knew I was a fundamentally good person and yet I was different in a way which was not of my choosing. Hence with this comprehension my self appreciation and esteem grew in proportion.

Religion for me today seems forever trapped in the misinterpretat…

let's please read carefully

This post is prompted by a recent comment I received to one of my older posts and I wanted to address it.

I used to wonder why some transgender people accepted Blanchard’s work until I think I figured out why: they may not have examined it closely enough. They would experience cross gender arousal and then accept it was Autogynephilia without properly understanding what the term meant and what the theory said: it is an invented sexual “illness” which makes people transition. In other words, it is the arousal itself which causes this desire and not a pre-existing gender identity which does not align with birth sex. Of course, Blanchard has no explanation for the origin of his proposed “illness” only that it is a form of sexual deviance.

My counter proposal? we transition despite this arousal. In other words, the transgender identity is pre-existing and the arousal is the result of the mismatching of burgeoning sexual feelings towards females and this misaligned identity; it is not per…