Skip to main content

great expectations

I've got two great kids. They are both doing well, are polite and secure in who they are. I've been talking to them about life since they were small and I think its helped them to be realistic about things without dampening their enthusiasm. They are both tolerant of other people and accept me exactly as I am. They also understand this subject fairly well and ask questions freely on occasion which I am more than happy to answer.

Therefore, it makes me ill every time I hear about children disowning a transgender parent with the caveat being that I would expect that person to be forthcoming and take their time coming out. However, if they expect to have instantaneous approval after keeping this a secret from their children they should give their heads a good shake. Unfortunately, I still read about this kind of scenario on occasion.

The reality is that we can be just as self serving and are not immune to being as callous as the rest of the population and, expecting people to get with the program once we are ready to undergo something as dramatic as a transition, should be a non-starter.

A family transitions slowly with you and adapts in baby steps which is a way of showing them respect. If, however, you have followed all the right moves to the letter and they still don't accept you then that is their problem and not yours.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

how times change

How times have changed.

Whereas transition was something not to even contemplate for us, here is a young trans person who felt the opposite pressure. She looks and sounds extremely passable but decided it wasn't for her despite the social media presence of young transitioners potentially inspiring her to.

We are all different and I happen to think she's rather a smart cookie as well...


indoctrination

As transgender people, organized religion hasn't really been our friend however on the other hand it has often had little to do with true spirituality. I needed to learn this over time and much of what I was taught growing up was steeped in the judgmental superstition of society instead of what some creator would demand of me.

Regardless of your belief system, you are a child of the universe and have been endowed with uniqueness and goodness of spirit. You have probably never wished anyone ill will and you have tried your best to live within the absurd coordinate system of humanity. Yet somehow belonging to the LGBT community was entirely your fault.

As I have grown older this inherent irrationality became increasingly evident to me. I knew I was a fundamentally good person and yet I was different in a way which was not of my choosing. Hence with this comprehension my self appreciation and esteem grew in proportion.

Religion for me today seems forever trapped in the misinterpretat…

more thoughts on cross gender arousal

I have been reflecting for many years on how cross gender arousal originates.

Firstly, the transgender child has already exhibited (or hidden) some gender variance for several years before they arrive at puberty (I wasn't older than 4 when scolded for wearing my mother's shoes). But when they hit puberty a dilemma occurs: the object of the sexual attraction is also someone whose gender they identify with either fully or partly. This contradiction affects the imprinting of the sexual identity but it is not well described as target location error but rather as a pull in two separate directions which leaves the gynephilic adolescent facing two distinct paths. I was keenly aware of this problem but wanted to be normal so I suppressed the dysphoric feelings as hard as I could. I wasn't attracted to my own image as a woman but rather to the idea of being a desirable woman as well as being with one. That juxtaposition fused to my gender core and I was left with a riddle to solve:…