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great expectations

I've got two great kids. They are both doing well, are polite and secure in who they are. I've been talking to them about life since they were small and I think its helped them to be realistic about things without dampening their enthusiasm. They are both tolerant of other people and accept me exactly as I am. They also understand this subject fairly well and ask questions freely on occasion which I am more than happy to answer.

Therefore, it makes me ill every time I hear about children disowning a transgender parent with the caveat being that I would expect that person to be forthcoming and take their time coming out. However, if they expect to have instantaneous approval after keeping this a secret from their children they should give their heads a good shake. Unfortunately, I still read about this kind of scenario on occasion.

The reality is that we can be just as self serving and are not immune to being as callous as the rest of the population and, expecting people to get with the program once we are ready to undergo something as dramatic as a transition, should be a non-starter.

A family transitions slowly with you and adapts in baby steps which is a way of showing them respect. If, however, you have followed all the right moves to the letter and they still don't accept you then that is their problem and not yours.


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