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investment

How are you able to gauge the depth to which someone loves you?

This is a very difficult question because many of the external signs we look for are not a sufficient a barometer for this. Most people are able to perform the adequate tasks and say the right things that would lead us to some conclusion but the true indicator of love is measured during true hardship when there is nothing in it for them other than grief.

Unless of course, there is something more.

We can blind ourselves to true love and even reject it. We can also convince ourselves that true love exists based on the fair and sunny times we experience with someone which is no sign of their depth of investment. Convincing ourselves that the intensity of our feeling for someone else is being returned with equal fervor, can be tempting but it may be wrong. However it is part of the risk inherent in the great leap we make to find companionship.

For nothing can be more volatile than human emotion and the delicate strings that attach themselves to our individual stories.

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No, I don't mind

When Halle and I last got together the woman serving us said:

"I can't wait to get home and take off my bra you know what I mean ladies?"

Arguably the statement wasn't the most elegant thing to say to perfect strangers but it made me reflect.

The thing is I don't mind wearing a bra because it is one more reminder that I am trans. Feeling my breast forms pressed up against my skin and cupped within the confines of my bra makes me comfortable and is another piece which contributes towards soothing my gender dysphoria.

There are days when the combination of the feel of my bra and forms, the pull of my dangly earrings and the feel of my feet in heels is a powerful combination which feeds my soul. I used to think this was me fooling myself until I finally admitted that my identity is being affirmed through these accoutrements. They are like badges that allow me to be addressed and treated in the manner I want; like a woman.

The gender identity of cis people is fed in …