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Contrast self compassion with self esteem for they are not the same.

Self esteem involves comparison with others and says: I am okay in spite of not having achieved something. Self compassion, on the other hand, is about forgiveness of self and giving oneself a break when we fail.

I think this is a lovely resolution for 2019 and better than going to the gym to lose those few extra pounds.

Self compassion is what we might want to strive for this year because as our own harshest critics we can find an oasis in this wonderful place. As Alexander Pope said;

"To err is human; to forgive, divine"

Hence I will try and work on the divine and practice forgiving myself for my natural failings as a human. I will make self compassion a part of my self improvement in 2019.

We are on our own case about everything we do and spend hours castigating ourselves for so many things we do not always have perfect control over. Our lives are complicated enough as they are so we can use that extra bit of forgiveness to help heal ourselves.

It goes without saying that compassion should be extended to others as well.


  1. Amazing that we both seem to be focused on self-compassion around the same time. It's not a new year's resolution for me but it's certainly something I'm working on.

    A good friend recently suggested a book, "Self-Compassion," (good name, right?) by Kristin Neff. I'm reading a few pages each morning with my first cup of coffee, and then, trying to absorb her wisdom into my life by doing the exercises.

    1. As trans people we are particularly vulnerable to being harsh with ourselves. The simple reason is that we continually disappointed by not being able to get with the program. Each failure added another layer of intolerance towards ourselves. To reverse this takes time and effort but it is so worthwhile


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