Skip to main content


After a 25-year absence I am going back to my native Madrid this summer and I am bringing my 2 adult children with me. This is going to be a marvelous trip for all of us and I have rented an apartment right in the middle of the city.

They have never been on an airplane much less to Europe and it will be a massive experience for them for this is one of its most cosmopolitan capitals. The cafes, restaurants, markets and tapas bars will be filled with people and I will be sitting alongside my kids having a great cup of coffee or a beer in the 16th century Plaza Mayor and happily people watching.

This is going to be a first taste of Europe for them and a relaxed vacation for me which will include seeing some family I haven’t seen in ages.

I can hardly wait.

The last time I was there, I was driving my parents through France and Spain and a year later my father was dead from a cancer we didn't know he had. Life is short and we should not wait to live it.

Image result for la plaza mayor de madrid
La Plaza Mayor


Popular posts from this blog

how times change

How times have changed.

Whereas transition was something not to even contemplate for us, here is a young trans person who felt the opposite pressure. She looks and sounds extremely passable but decided it wasn't for her despite the social media presence of young transitioners potentially inspiring her to.

We are all different and I happen to think she's rather a smart cookie as well...


As transgender people, organized religion hasn't really been our friend however on the other hand it has often had little to do with true spirituality. I needed to learn this over time and much of what I was taught growing up was steeped in the judgmental superstition of society instead of what some creator would demand of me.

Regardless of your belief system, you are a child of the universe and have been endowed with uniqueness and goodness of spirit. You have probably never wished anyone ill will and you have tried your best to live within the absurd coordinate system of humanity. Yet somehow belonging to the LGBT community was entirely your fault.

As I have grown older this inherent irrationality became increasingly evident to me. I knew I was a fundamentally good person and yet I was different in a way which was not of my choosing. Hence with this comprehension my self appreciation and esteem grew in proportion.

Religion for me today seems forever trapped in the misinterpretat…

more thoughts on cross gender arousal

I have been reflecting for many years on how cross gender arousal originates.

Firstly, the transgender child has already exhibited (or hidden) some gender variance for several years before they arrive at puberty (I wasn't older than 4 when scolded for wearing my mother's shoes). But when they hit puberty a dilemma occurs: the object of the sexual attraction is also someone whose gender they identify with either fully or partly. This contradiction affects the imprinting of the sexual identity but it is not well described as target location error but rather as a pull in two separate directions which leaves the gynephilic adolescent facing two distinct paths. I was keenly aware of this problem but wanted to be normal so I suppressed the dysphoric feelings as hard as I could. I wasn't attracted to my own image as a woman but rather to the idea of being a desirable woman as well as being with one. That juxtaposition fused to my gender core and I was left with a riddle to solve:…