You may have noticed that I am increasingly comfortable referring to myself as a female; something I never did in the past on this blog. I took a very long road to erase much of my social programming and have come to touch the core of who I am which is essentially female and always has been. But to admit that, I first I needed to take ownership of my transsexualism.

I was aware of these things very early but I knew well enough not to try and express it openly, for late 1960's Spain would have been among the worst places to do it; a machismo culture steeped in Roman Catholic mysticism.

Knowing who I am on the inside is extremely reassuring and it is the reason so much pressure has been lifted from my shoulders. No matter what I do now regarding some possible version of transition, that certainty will keep me balanced and happy for the rest of my days.


  1. Joanna,. Religions always been a brake to emancipation. Before it was hard to get a Catholic pope not to be Italian. Have you ever seen a woman being a priest or leading JW meetings. None. You don't need religion to be a believer. All you need is yourself and to let your heart do the talking.

    I have to publically apologize for the misbehaviour of my ex colleague in a store in Anjou. He has been rude and inconsiderate and I thought constantly about you and how he made you feel that day. I am sorry for that and moreover I am sorry for his poor behaviour and wishing you happiness.

    Today I just saw passed at Place Montreal Trust . I wanted to tell you in person.

    Please pass by!



    1. Thanks Alain that was the first and only time in many many years that this happened to me so it was a bit of a shock. That was then and this is now and 100 fold in a better place than I was. Clearly though you do not ask someone private questions about their state of transition upon just meeting them.
      Thanks again

  2. Some people are very unhappy and are socially uneducated themselves because of their own struggles. It is the case of this gentleman . I am not trying to make up excuses for him but just a bit of explaining.

    I am happy that you're on the road of total happiness. I can never know what you have been through but I can relate to some feelings of lack of acceptance and therefore of self confidence. I also think it's wonderful that you write and hold this blog. You have been an inspiration to many people, so I read your blog for quite few months. Keep up your writing, your faith in people ànd in God.

    Thank you


    1. Thanks for reading Alain and for your wonderful comment 😀


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