haste

My life is being simplified as the years go by. I have two adult children who are slowly finding their way in the world and the time put into them was worth every penny. But now its time for me and what my life will look like over the next few years.

I am very tempted to work as a woman whether that be full or part time and that will likely help me decide whether I formally change gender marker or not. This is the last piece of the puzzle for me and the end of a very long road which will have taken 60 years of my life to complete.

Those of you who are close to my age and in a comparable place on the gender spectrum understand all too well what a difficult road this is. We knew nothing back then and thought we were the only ones suffering from a difference we couldn't possibly comprehend. We had very little literature and had no one to talk to about it.

I am very hopeful today in large part because carrying a weight for decades builds muscles you don't even realize were there. It is when you finally shed the load that you realize there is a jump in your step thanks to all the hard work.

Being transsexual has taught me an incredible amount about the world. It has coloured my perspective greatly and forced me to develop an iron will because there were times when the dysphoria threatened to consume me. There is no bigger foe I have ever faced than that.

I always tell other trans people here to think for themselves and to ignore advice and it is true. Do not act in haste and think more than you ever have in your life without preconceived ideas and, in due time, you will have your answer.

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